I Feel Good

You'll probably be happy to know that my cleanse is coming to an end tomorrow. It hasn't been easy and a lot of it hasn't been fun, but a funny (yet predictable) thing has happened: I don't want to binge on sugar and gluten and dairy anymore.

Here are the key things I've learned:

• Paying to be on a cleanse instills much more accountability than trying to do it on your own for "free". (Signing up with a friend is even better!)
• Sugar is in virtually everything and we're all addicted (and my kids eat WAY too much sugar).
• It's possible to cook amazing food that doesn't contain dairy, sugar or gluten. 
• Shopping at Whole Foods will easily double your grocery spend (this is a problem).
• This is the best way to lose weight without exercise that I've found (I've lost 4 pounds - if I lost 6 more, I'd be at my goal weight...also, yes, you should exercise).
• Vegan food tastes better once you've deprived your body of refined sugar and dairy for a week or so.
• Cooking with whole foods takes a lot more time than cooking with packaged foods (at least when you're first learning, it does).
• There are a lot of alternatives to gluten, dairy and refined sugar if you're willing to do the work and spend the money (see above)

As always, it's good to try new things and I'm glad I did this. I'm actually excited about learning to bake with less gluten and sugar. (Or not bake, as in the case of these awesome Coconut Snowballs I made today.)

It's bittersweet, I suppose. I feel great. I'm really grateful that I've learned another way to eat. I got some really great recipes and my jeans fit better. But...I'm worried I will never fully enjoy dessert again. I'm worried that I won't ever be able to drink another glass of red wine without thinking about it's sugar content. I'm worried that food is going to feel daunting and dangerous rather than fun. I'm sure all of this will wear off as I get farther away from eating such a strict diet, but that's what I'm feeling at the moment.

But, enough with fake problems, this should all be a happy thing! In one more day I will have done yet another thing I never thought I could do: 15 days without a Starbucks fancy drink! (but I did have coffee) 15 days without dessert! 15 days without chocolate! 15 days without baked goods! I did it! Yay me! And if any of you are inspired enough to try this thing out for yourself, there's another round starting in February!

As a way of ensuring that I don't totally abandon this newfound perspective once I finally get a taste of some sweet, sweet chocolate and wine, I'm pledging to post what we'll call a "Smart and Good" recipe every week. I'm not promising they'll all be totally gluten/sugar/dairy free, but they will probably be at least one or two of those things and they won't have refined sugar in them, because honestly, I'm throwing that shit out.