Focus

Is there anything better than realizing you have absolutely nowhere you have to be today? My younger self would have hated that. I would have been anxious about the prospect of a whole day stuck at home...bored.

Now, of course, I know that I can actually be more bored when running around doing things I must do than when I am sitting at home. Ah, perspective.

I have been thinking about writing again. I mean, it's always in the back of my mind, but I've been actually missing it. Wanting to do it. Which reminded me that I actually have a blog I've been neglecting...

Here's the thing I think about blogs: You have to have a thing. It's a rare blogger who is successful without a thing that gives their blog shape and focus. Like, traveling the world for a year - that's a good thing to blog about. Finding out you have cancer - that's a good (albeit difficult) thing to blog about. Even having a baby can be a good thing to blog about if your audience is all other people who are newly becoming parents.

Simply living your life isn't really a thing to blog about unless you are A) a celebrity or B) you are just super interesting - and probably very witty and a good writer. I would totally love to put myself in that bucket, but reality would tell a different story.

You CAN just blog about your regular old life, of course, my point is simply that it's difficult to keep it interesting.

I need a hook. A thing. A hooky thing. If not for the people who actually read this blog, then just as a way to trick my brain into thinking about what to write. I need motivation...focus. Shape. An angle.

Really I just need to set my mind to something and then follow through with it for more than a couple weeks. Or abandon ship. Or just admit that really all I'm ever going to blog about are things I cross of my 40 by 40 list.

Hmmm...I'm going to go back to having nothing to do today.

Eventually

I have to say something that's probably obvious to any writer: I need to read more. When I read, I want to write. And I need to write. Even though I go long stretches without it, I always return to the fact that writing is like a vitamin...it's nourishment for me.

I just read "Wifey" for my bookclub. Holy shit, I didn't even know that book existed until a few weeks ago, and I loved Judy Blume as a kid. The book is pretty great. Not just because of how taboo it all was, but just because it's such escapism. It was Judy Blume coming off of a divorce and letting her mind wander. And from the writer perspective, I just think that's pretty great. Not everybody can turn their "what ifs" into a piece of pop culture.

I just love to imagine writers writing. I keep thinking maybe all of this time I'm not writing is accumulating into this void that I will one day fill. One day I will wake up and the words will pour out of me...prolifically. I will suddenly have all the things to say...I will have all the stories and amazing characters and perfectly placed words. And maybe it will seem effortless, as if these years of not being able to muster any words were not an effort. Maybe it will all make sense and seem like it was worth it. Like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

It's a nice thought, but I'm too rational to think that it's true. Writers work hard and this writer is hardly working. But I know it's still there and that I will write again. Somehow. Eventually.

Rooftop drinking

Back in May, when Minneapolis was just beginning to emerge from its pseudo-spring that felt more like winter and the sun was actually shining on occasion, I wanted to make sure I didn't let summer pass me by without taking advantage of being able to sit outside without a hat and mittens, so I pledged to have a drink on a rooftop or patio every week for the whole summer. (I know, it's totally heroic.)

A beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I posted said pledge on Facebook and was surprised at how enthusiastic people were about this idea. Over the last two months, I've been asked about my quest at least weekly. Such excitement makes me think I should maybe be trying to harder to seek out new and interesting patios and rooftops around the Twin Cities, but so far I've just been happy to complete my pledge every week except one. (Please note that so far Minneapolis summer has been at least 70% thunderstorms.)

So since I get asked a lot, here is the list of patios and rooftops I have visited this summer on my quest -- along with the all-important rating (which I would have made umbrellas if I could figure out how to put the symbol in):

1. Brit's Pub ***
2. Margaritaville (Las Vegas) ****
3. Muddy Waters **
4. Pittsburgh Blue *
5. Masa *
6. Seven **
7. Ciao Bella * 
8. moto-i **

With the exception of Brit's, I don't feel like I've hit the supposedly best places yet. I have to make an effort to get out to Stella's, Cafeteria and Psycho Suzi's in the next few weeks. Let's hope the sun keeps shining!

Birthday blur

Birthday week just barreled through like a freight train. In fact, things moved so fast that I forgot to enjoy the week between my/boys bday week and Father's Day/husband bday week and here we are right back into celebration mode...which isn't bad, mind you. It's just really expensive and slightly chaotic.

This was my first birthday in 4 years that I didn't stare at my 40 by 40 list. Perhaps this is because I am so far behind schedule on it this year or maybe it's just because I've just been on autopilot lately. Either way, it deserves a bit of reflection. I just went through a crossed off the two most recent things I accomplished:

#6 Learn to play guitar
I did this! I really did. I'm not a pro or anything, but I learned 7 or 8 chords and could legitimately sit down and play you a song today, which is a LOT more than I could do back in January. (Hopefully you like "Hey Jude" and "Live on Tomorrow") I thought about recording myself playing as proof that I'd accomplished this one (because usually there is some kind of evidence), but I think I left my recording-myself-singing-songs phase behind when I was about 11...I can't even imagine if YouTube had existed back then.

#36 Eat at Per Se
My dessert tasting menu experience was so lovely and fun that I think it fulfills this list item. True, when I put this on the list I imagined eating in the main dining room, but I feel like I got just the perfect amount of the Per Se experience without dropping $500 on dinner. (I'm so fiscally responsible!)

Reading through my 40 by 40 list is such a great reminder of how much you can change year-to-year without even realizing. Running a 5K is always the easiest example to use because I literally could not run one mile back when I made this list and now I run two miles as a regular jog and can run a 5K on a moment's notice.

I like #22 too (Learn to make and appreciate a good martini) because dirty martinis are now one of my favorite drinks. I even started a book club that includes drinking martinis! 4 years ago I didn't even know how to order one properly.

This is all to say that I still love my 40 by 40 list even though I haven't been loving blogging much lately. Everything comes in waves, right? So maybe if I ride this one out, I'll re-emerge in a place where I can put blogging back into my routine...if I take all of the trips remaining on my list, I should have plenty to blog about.

In good news, we're taking a step toward #18 (Be debt free) - we finally got our old house back on the market yesterday! That's the house we brought our tiny babies home to 10 years ago, so it's got lots of good memories, but it's also the house we've been saddled with for the past six years while the housing market tanked, so I will be very happy and relieved to sign it over to a new owner. (Fingers crossed)

Off I go, marching into Father's Day and another birthday, and before we know it June will be over. Go smell some flowers or something.

Absentee

I missed a month. An entire 31-day month passed without me blogging. I'd like to tell you that I have been up to so many exciting things that I simply could not find the time, but it's more like I've been sucked into a never-ending loop of work, cook, sleep, repeat and whatever brain cells have not been sacrificed to that black hole have been stolen by Candy Crush. (Seriously, I wish I was playing it right now.)

Pretty, pretty ice cream

I did leave the black hole briefly to go to Vegas, which was fun and exciting and delicious. I definitely should have written a whole post about that trip, but now it was nearly a month ago, so I'll just give you the barebones highlights:

• Best Dessert of the Trip goes to RM Seafood, where we got 16 (!) flavors of ice cream and had to guess all the flavors. (Peanut butter was very yummy, garlic was not.)
• Best Way to Spend a Monday morning goes to sipping pina coladas by the pool. (Although New York-New York is not really the place to stay if you really love to hang out at the pool.)
• Best Attraction of the Trip goes to the Neon Boneyard, which is pretty much what it sounds like. Lots of pieces of Vegas history all in one place, plus now I have another reason to go back because they're going to start doing nighttime tours with the signs all lit up! 

Culminating with that trip, I've almost entirely fallen off the healthy eating wagon. I mean, I still love my gluten-free crackers, but I've been slacking on the rest of it. Which is to say that I do not have any Smart and Good recipes, nor will I within the next week, as we've just kicked off BIRTHDAY WEEK over here, which is really more like birthday month because my birthday is the day before the boys' birthday, which is exactly two weeks before my husband's birthday. Geminis are we.

So, I really will have a lot going on over the next few days and weeks, but I will make sure that I also come back to the blog, because I really need to revisit my 40 by 40 list and formally acknowledge all the things I did not do...more to come.

You Gotta Try to Stay Alive

Spring has sprung finally in Minneapolis (although rumor has it there will be snow on Wednesday) and we've been doing some spring cleaning. Today I found an old notebook from one of the many writing classes I've taken over the years.

I don't know what year it was from - maybe 2004 - and I had written down writing goals as part of the class. My 5-year goal was to have a book published (ok, a "best selling novel"). My ideal worklife was to write all day and then play with the boys in the afternoons and evenings.

I still think that's my ideal worklife, if we're making wishes on stars. However, I've yet to become motivated to the point that I actually sit down and write. I could tell you that inspiration hasn't struck, but I know that successful writers write even when there is no inspiration. It's about priorities...which means it's actually about overcoming the fear of pursuing the dream, because it's so safe and cozy to think about what you wish would happen, but it's really, really hard to try it and fail.

Maybe my 40 by 40 list is really just meant to bring me to the place where I'm more pulled by the feeling of trying it than pushed by the fear of failing at it.

Speaking of 40 by 40, I can now play two legit songs on guitar! I mean, I still stumble and I definitely still have to read the music, but back in January, I couldn't play a single chord, so that is progress. And I'm learning that you can get pretty far only knowing 5 chords and a few variations of them. My guitar teacher leans toward the Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix stuff, but I started teaching myself to play a Juliana Hatfield song and I'm finding it to be much more motivating...probably because in high school, I fantasized about being Juliana Hatfield. (Then when I was a critic, I got to interview her on the phone - all I remember is that she burned the rice she was cooking while talking to me.)

So yeah, I'm now performing a stilted version of "Live on Tomorrow" multiple times per day in my living room. While the song's sentiment is ultimately positive, I probably wouldn't have chosen those lyrics to put on repeat for my kids, but I didn't know all of the chords for any of her other songs (at least not based on my brief internet search), so if it means we have to have a heart-to-heart about not letting people treat you like shit, even if ultimately you can triumph over it, then so be it. I'm totally going to play that song without looking at the music by my birthday.

Ok, so I'm trying to think of a good way to segue from Juliana Hatfield to my Smart but Good recipe, but the best I've got is that both Juliana and peanut butter cups are simple pleasures. (Side note: Did you know "segway" isn't a real word? All the times you've said you needed a "segway" from one topic to another you meant segue, unless you were referring to the mode of transportation! OMG.)

Disclosure: I still don't eat a ton of gluten, but I've definitely fallen off the health kick. Sure, I make better choices as a rule, but I also sometimes eat nachos and burgers (not generally together). What I'm trying to say is that this recipe feels like a bit of a cop out because I'm not totally sure that it's "smart" to eat peanut butter cups, even if they are gluten free. Also, I'm not totally sure that regular peanut butter cups aren't already gluten free...if so, I'd stick with those.

And with that ringing endorsement, I bring you the latest Smart and Good recipe!

The peanut butter layer.

They-Taste-Like-Homemade Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cups
(adapted from All Day I Dream About Food)

For Chocolate outside:
¼ cup butter
3 oz unsweetened chocolate
3 tbsp powdered sugar (you can make your own unrefined version by putting your alternate sugar in the blender - I used palm sugar)
2 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For Peanut Butter inside:

½ cup peanut butter
3 tbsp powdered sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract

You also need 12 muffin liners or candy cups (whatever those are) - something to make the "cup" shape

Directions:

1. Melt butter, unsweetened chocolate and powdered sugar in a small pot on low heat, stirring until smooth. Stir in cocoa powder and vanilla. Let cool 5 to 10 minutes, until somewhat thickened.
2. Use back of small spoon to spread thin layer of chocolate mixture on bottom and up sides of twelve muffin liners. Place on baking sheet or platter and freeze until firm, about 20 minutes.
3. In a microwave safe bowl, heat peanut butter on high for 30 seconds or until fully melted but not hot. Stir in powdered sugar and vanilla extract.
4. Remove chocolate cups from freezer and add a layer of the peanut butter filling (you should use it all). Return to freezer for another 10 minutes.
5. Rewarm remaining chocolate gently over low heat and stir until smooth. Spread over peanut butter filling to the sides of each cup. Chill until set, 20 minutes.
6. Store in the refrigerator...or eat them all.

   

   Juliana is much more photogenic than these peanut butter cups.

Eating New York

I've been absent from the blog for a few reasons, but the most interesting one is that I was in NYC for four days on my BFF foodie trip!

The whole trip was lovely. It started a little cold, but by the time we left, it was 75 and sunny!

Side note: After prancing around Central Park in the sun, we returned to the second coming of Minnesota winter. Snow and rain and more snow. April, you are dead to me. 

We ate A LOT in New York. My body was begging for mercy by the end, but it was so fun!!!

Here's a rundown of the places we ate (in order of appearance) and then I'll tell you my favorite:

Snack Box
I'm not sure this is the best hot dog in New York, but it's still fun to eat a hot dog in the middle of Times Square. Plus, I got the pineapple relish, which was weird but good.

WD-50
We did the "From the Vault" tasting menu and it was amazing. Not as crazy as I would have thought from all the hype about Wylie Dufresne and his molecular gastronomy, but that was fine with me. My only complaint is that two of the seven courses has things that tasted like Fruit Rollups and I hate Fruit Rollups.

Bouchon Bakery
Pretty, pretty pastries. We were at the Rockefeller Center location and they had run out of all the hot breakfast items by 10 a.m. on a Sunday, but I probably would have just eaten the same Chocolate Almond Croissant even if I could have ordered eggs. (Also, I brought shortbread cookies home and they were delicious.)

Eataly
This was one of my favorites. I wish I could live near this place...no, I wish I could live right there in Eataly. You're surrounded by Italian ingredients and then you can sit down and order a meal made with all the good stuff you're looking at. It was busy even though we were there around 3 p.m. but we got a spot at the bar in Il Pesce (the fish place). I didn't realize how heavenly wine and salmon carpaccio on a Sunday afternoon could be. Thank you, Mario Batali (and the people who actually made my food).

Ca Va 
Our budget hotel happened to be across the street from this Todd English place, so we had to stop in. We had lamb short ribs and martinis at the bar, which were great.

Per Se
I was actually nervous for this, even though we were only going for dessert. I had such high expectations and they were all met. The food and service were both wonderful...and I'll give you the play by play below.

Norma's
This is my go-to breakfast spot in NYC. However, now that I know better than to order things like mountains of pancakes and chocolate-peanut butter waffles, it wasn't quite as great - this was partially due to unusually bad service on this visit. But I'll still be back when I've got the kids with me.

Dickson's Farmstand Meats in Chelsea Market
I had never been to Chelsea Market despite it being featured heavily on Food Network. It's such a nice little spot. It's made up of small shops and we chose Dickson's because my travel companion wanted a sloppy joe. I opted for the pastrami sandwich, which came with apricot chutney. Yum! It was the surprise hit of the trip. (We also ate a cupcake and mini donuts at the market, but the sandwich was the highlight.)

Doughnut Plant
We went to see the Chelsea Hotel and realized that Doughnut Plant's main location is there. Score! I know this is crazy, but I couldn't eat a donut. I had coffee, but my BFF represented with a rose donut. I just loved the space - donut tiles, donut pillows on the wall...love.

Prune
We wanted to eat here after reading "Blood, Bones and Butter" and I'm glad we did. The place is tiny and adorable. The waitresses wear pink, our drinks were both pink and they were playing Pink over the sound system (which was maybe a coincidence, but cute). I had a petite filet with potatoes that was lovely. And butter cake.

Sarabeth's
I feel like Anthony Bourdain mentioned this place once, but I could be making that up. Somehow I heard about it and I'm glad I did. It has a pretty, sunny location off Central Park and they serve porridge! (Which is delicious!)

See? That's a lot of food.

Ok, so my favorite was Per Se. Maybe because it was all about dessert. Maybe because I'd been anticipating eating there for years. Maybe because the dessert was amazing. Or maybe just all of that combined. I was giddy.

The Dessert Tasting is served in the Salon (not a bar, a bar would be too ordinary). Even though the service is legendary, I wasn't sure if there'd be any hoity-toityness when we arrived only wanting dessert, while most people pay $400 to sit in the dining room. There was not. The hostesses were sweet and welcoming.

The experience was lovely and perfect and delicious and fun and without any of the pretense that can come with a fancy dinner, so I'm actually not sure if I really want to eat in the Dining Room now...but I think I still do.

The Salon is elegant and dimly-lit, which is why I could not bear to turn on my flash and the following photos are dark. But enjoy.

Amuse bouche: Tiny ice cream sandwiches
that tasted like dreamsicles.

Another amuse: An homage to the famous Thomas Keller
salmon cornets,but this was sweet with pineapple. 

"Chamomile Soda"
Vanilla Tapioca Pudding and Sake Granita
(Delicious and I loved the Alice and
Wonderland-like presentation!)

Mango Sorbet
Carribean Papaya and Whipped Jasmine Tea

"PB&J"
Candied Virginia Peanuts, Red Verjus
"Pate de Fruits" and "Pain au Lait" Ice Cream
(This was one of my favorites. Look at that tiny sandwich!
And the ice cream was incredible!)

"Coffee and Doughnuts"
Cinnamon-Sugared Brioche Doughnuts
with Cappucino Semifreddo
(This was my favorite, favorite. It looks so simple,
but those donuts were perfect and the way the cappucino
was really ice cream? I mean, come on.)

Seville Orange-Vanilla "Creamsicle"
Manjari Chocolate "Cremeux" with Mint "Genoise"
(While I hesitate to make any disparaging remarks
about this experience, we didn't like this dessert.
It didn't taste like a creamsicle and the tartness
of the orange was overpowering.)

Housemade Chocolates
(Just when you think it's over, the waiter arrives
with a box of 30 different chocolates
in flavors such as "Dirty Martini White Chocolate."
Amazing! You can pick as many as you want,
although I'm not sure they'd love it if
you asked them to just leave the whole box.) 

And that, my friends, is how you eat New York. Or at least, a small portion of New York. Maybe I can do a family-friendly round this summer when we take the kids. Until then, I'll be focused on losing the 500 lbs. I just gained. 

(Recipes to return soon!)