You Gotta Try to Stay Alive

Spring has sprung finally in Minneapolis (although rumor has it there will be snow on Wednesday) and we've been doing some spring cleaning. Today I found an old notebook from one of the many writing classes I've taken over the years.

I don't know what year it was from - maybe 2004 - and I had written down writing goals as part of the class. My 5-year goal was to have a book published (ok, a "best selling novel"). My ideal worklife was to write all day and then play with the boys in the afternoons and evenings.

I still think that's my ideal worklife, if we're making wishes on stars. However, I've yet to become motivated to the point that I actually sit down and write. I could tell you that inspiration hasn't struck, but I know that successful writers write even when there is no inspiration. It's about priorities...which means it's actually about overcoming the fear of pursuing the dream, because it's so safe and cozy to think about what you wish would happen, but it's really, really hard to try it and fail.

Maybe my 40 by 40 list is really just meant to bring me to the place where I'm more pulled by the feeling of trying it than pushed by the fear of failing at it.

Speaking of 40 by 40, I can now play two legit songs on guitar! I mean, I still stumble and I definitely still have to read the music, but back in January, I couldn't play a single chord, so that is progress. And I'm learning that you can get pretty far only knowing 5 chords and a few variations of them. My guitar teacher leans toward the Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix stuff, but I started teaching myself to play a Juliana Hatfield song and I'm finding it to be much more motivating...probably because in high school, I fantasized about being Juliana Hatfield. (Then when I was a critic, I got to interview her on the phone - all I remember is that she burned the rice she was cooking while talking to me.)

So yeah, I'm now performing a stilted version of "Live on Tomorrow" multiple times per day in my living room. While the song's sentiment is ultimately positive, I probably wouldn't have chosen those lyrics to put on repeat for my kids, but I didn't know all of the chords for any of her other songs (at least not based on my brief internet search), so if it means we have to have a heart-to-heart about not letting people treat you like shit, even if ultimately you can triumph over it, then so be it. I'm totally going to play that song without looking at the music by my birthday.

Ok, so I'm trying to think of a good way to segue from Juliana Hatfield to my Smart but Good recipe, but the best I've got is that both Juliana and peanut butter cups are simple pleasures. (Side note: Did you know "segway" isn't a real word? All the times you've said you needed a "segway" from one topic to another you meant segue, unless you were referring to the mode of transportation! OMG.)

Disclosure: I still don't eat a ton of gluten, but I've definitely fallen off the health kick. Sure, I make better choices as a rule, but I also sometimes eat nachos and burgers (not generally together). What I'm trying to say is that this recipe feels like a bit of a cop out because I'm not totally sure that it's "smart" to eat peanut butter cups, even if they are gluten free. Also, I'm not totally sure that regular peanut butter cups aren't already gluten free...if so, I'd stick with those.

And with that ringing endorsement, I bring you the latest Smart and Good recipe!

The peanut butter layer.

They-Taste-Like-Homemade Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cups
(adapted from All Day I Dream About Food)

For Chocolate outside:
¼ cup butter
3 oz unsweetened chocolate
3 tbsp powdered sugar (you can make your own unrefined version by putting your alternate sugar in the blender - I used palm sugar)
2 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For Peanut Butter inside:

½ cup peanut butter
3 tbsp powdered sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract

You also need 12 muffin liners or candy cups (whatever those are) - something to make the "cup" shape

Directions:

1. Melt butter, unsweetened chocolate and powdered sugar in a small pot on low heat, stirring until smooth. Stir in cocoa powder and vanilla. Let cool 5 to 10 minutes, until somewhat thickened.
2. Use back of small spoon to spread thin layer of chocolate mixture on bottom and up sides of twelve muffin liners. Place on baking sheet or platter and freeze until firm, about 20 minutes.
3. In a microwave safe bowl, heat peanut butter on high for 30 seconds or until fully melted but not hot. Stir in powdered sugar and vanilla extract.
4. Remove chocolate cups from freezer and add a layer of the peanut butter filling (you should use it all). Return to freezer for another 10 minutes.
5. Rewarm remaining chocolate gently over low heat and stir until smooth. Spread over peanut butter filling to the sides of each cup. Chill until set, 20 minutes.
6. Store in the refrigerator...or eat them all.

   

   Juliana is much more photogenic than these peanut butter cups.