Happy Monday

It's Monday. It feels like a Monday.

Maybe I started out a bit melancholy, but I've been a bit flattened by the horrible news today...from our local college student tragically falling off a bridge (I'm saying falling because the alternative is even worse) or the description of that Germanwings pilot using an axe to try to get back into the cockpit to save those 150 people. Everyone just plunging straight down.

If there is anything positive about all that, it's the perspective it gives you on your own boring life. I could have written you a whole diatribe about the uncertainty I feel about my current work situation, but what does it really matter? I am standing with my feet on the ground. I'm not sick or hungry. I'm not going to complain about it today.

What I am going to do is acknowledge a few things that made me happy today: My husband arrived safely home from a trip. Happy. I inspired someone to make a 50 by 50 list. Happy. My BFF called me for advice because she said she needed to talk to someone smart. Happy. I have kids who laugh at grammar jokes. Happy (and proud).

Also, I have chocolate ice cream and red wine. Neither of which are going to help me lose those 10 lbs I'm after (which would make me happy), but both of which make me very, very happy tonight.

Rebirthing? Relaunching? Remembering my blog.

Funny story: I was re-reading my old blog from 2008 and was crying laughing about 1) all the cute things my boys used to say and do, and 2) how my ability to create pithy prose may have peaked in 2008...when I was suddenly like "I need a new blog!" I actually started trying to think of names for it before realizing, oh yeah, I have a blog...

Sorry, blog.

I've never hit my stride with this blog. It lacks focus. My inner perfectionist (who only comes out in very very specific instances, because normally I'm a mess) wants to delete it all and start over, so I can leave only a focused, thematic telling of my tales. I'm not going to do that...I've at least learned over the years that throwing away things you wrote is a bad idea. I mean, yes, some things are just stupid, but other things just need a little time and space for you to appreciate them again. Plus, if my writing ever gets super focused, you should start to wonder if it's really me writing it.

Ok, so anyway, would you believe me if I said I was recommitting to blogging? Yeah, me either, but I'm going to attempt to prove it to you and me both.

My first challenge will be how to document my children's lives in a way that will not be harmful to them as they get older. Mildly embarrassing is ok...I just won't dive deep into their psyches here. I suppose I should apply the same filter to myself...

#9: The Time I Spent 3 Days Making Croissants

I just spent a week completing #9 on my 40 by 40 list: Do Pastry Boot Camp at the CIA! I returned yesterday and I'm still figuring out what I learned and which parts I loved the most.

I was in New York for a full week (Sunday to Saturday) and it was really weird being away from my husband and kids that long...and also not setting foot into Manhattan. But it was so great to be immersed in learning something that I truly wanted to learn!

The CIA (Culinary Institute of America) is in Hyde Park, NY, which is about 2 hours north of Manhattan. I was lucky enough to have a friend to stay with in Cold Spring (thanks, Maggie & Danny!) so I didn't have to shell out for a hotel, which would have nearly doubled the price of this adventure...and it wasn't a cheap adventure.

The CIA is like Hogwarts for chefs. It's in a former Jesuit monastery. The dining hall is the former chapel. It's all very impressive.

There are kitchens everywhere (these are the classrooms) and the school even has three public-facing restaurants, staffed by students. It's maybe the coolest trade school ever.

So, I was in boot camp with 13 other culinary "enthusiasts" who had come from as close as the neighboring county and as far as South Korea. Crazy. And I was surprised to find another Minnesotan in the group. Small world.

There were lots of older women in the group, which made me feel young, which I especially appreciated because the students at the CIA all look like babies...but I guess that's what 18 year olds look like now. Getting old is such a bitch!

Anyway, it was really amazing to get to spend a week with a real French chef. Our instructor was Chef Gilles Ballay, a Parisian who has been working in pastry for 27 years, including stints under Alain Ducasse and Jean Phillipe. That's legit.

He is very French and very passionate and very good at what he does. I would have gladly spent an entire day just listening to his experiences in pastry, but he liked to talk about the "produce" more than himself.  He made a point of telling us he does not like drama in his kitchen and when he says "catastrophe" he says it as if it ends with an "f"...ca-tas-trof! I love that.

The first thing I learned is that croissants take 3 days to make! And yes, that includes the croissants you get at Starbucks. 3 days! So, yeah, I probably won't be opening up a croissant shop anytime soon. But we did make them. The first day we made the dough, the next day we locked in the butter and rolled and folded until it was time to cut and shape them into things that look like croissants (plain and chocolate!), then the next day we proofed and baked them.

Croissants Day 1 - I made an amazing ball of dough, almost the size of my head.

Croissant Day 2: Locked, rolled and folded. 

Croissants Day 3: Look! They're croissants! All proofed and ready to bake.

Ta-da! Croissants!

They were really, really good. But 3 days? Not unless I was doing it as my job.

We did several different things every day, so it wasn't like we just stared at croissant dough. I also made eclairs, fruit tarts, tiramisu and marshmallow! All were delicious. The only thing that really gave me trouble was tempering chocolate, which was a bummer, but I'm sure I could figure it out if I worked at it. 

In addition to actual technique, I learned that pastry is really time consuming and intricate and that you aren't in charge - your food is. Our chef says pastry should be fun and he's right, you have to love it to do it well. I've got the love...I just need a bit more practice. 

I am SO glad that I did the bootcamp. And I'm glad it was hard and that it required me to put my life on hold for a week. I didn't come back ready to drop everything and open a bakery, but I was reminded of what it's like to spend your days doing things you love rather than things you just have to do and I needed that reminder.

I'm still ruminating on how to use this experience to shape my next steps in life, but I'm definitely better for having done it. Food is amazing! Travel is amazing! School can be amazing! And I am so lucky that I have a life that allows me to experience so many amazing things.