My Best of 2015

I'm in love with the idea of living perched in that happy in-between space occupied by year-end “Best of” lists. You’ve got the joy and sense of accomplishment of looking back at good things that happened, while looking ahead with this vague sense that maybe more amazing things will happen next year. All the while mentally shutting the door on all the stuff that did not make that "Best of" list because most of the year likely was not a demonstration of the best of you or really anything...it was just life.

You’d think I might be excited to say goodbye to 2015 - it is the year I got laid off, after all. That whole experience could have ruined my year, but it really didn’t. I’m happy to say that my quest for new experiences, supercharged by my 40 by 40 list, has created a stockpile of amazingness that even losing my job could not deplete. I have so much for which to be grateful. So here, organized loosely on a scale of “I love that I got to do that” to “I’m eternally grateful that happened,” are my favorite experiences of 2015:

10. I went to SXSW Interactive!

It’s unusual for a work trip to make the list of my favorite things, but this was such a great experience. What an awesome place with smart people doing cool stuff everywhere - so much inspiration per square inch. Plus, I got to attend with two coworkers that I didn’t know would no longer be my coworkers just 3 short months later, which makes it both bittersweet and even more special in retrospect.

Jimmy Kimmel at SXSW.

9. I met Mary Karr & Mary Louise Parker!

It’s not like I actually got to hang out with either of these amazing ladies, but I did, in fact, get to meet them and attempt to absorb some of their creative energy in those 30 seconds. Truth be told, I went in the most starstruck by MLP, but I left with the most admiration for Mary Karr. So funny and poised and genuine. But really, more important than the actual meeting is that when I learned of this book event back in July, it was like a beacon in a fog of anxiety and uncertainty about the whole finding to find a job thing. It was a risk to buy tickets to an event in LA when I was sitting in Minneapolis without a job, but I needed something inspiring at that moment and it turned into an amazing trip with my husband, which included me turning into a blushing schoolgirl upon meeting two women whom I fiercely admire. (Plus, were it not for this trip, #6 would not have happened!)

The Marys talking about writing.

8. I got my favorite tattoo!

When I originally added “Get another tattoo” to my 40 by 40 list, I didn’t know what I wanted to get for sure. But when my mom said she would finally go get the tattoo that she’s been talking about for a decade - my name on her arm - I knew I wanted the names of my boys somewhere I could see them every day. And with the help of a talented artist at Jackalope Tattoo, I now have my heart. And it’s perfect.

My heart.

7. I got my travel certification!

As part of getting laid off I had the opportunity to get free training. I thought maybe I could parlay my technology experience into a future in the travel industry, but I didn’t have any travel experience other than my personal travel planning addiction, so I did some research and learned that there is an entry-level certification that gives you the basics about the industry. Thinking this could help me land a job, I was able to enroll. What I didn’t know is that A) I would love this course, and B) it would actually teach me that it might not be so crazy to think that I could someday make a living planning trips (not just working for a big company that makes travel software). As I write this, I’m in the process of getting set up with a host agency so I can begin moonlighting as a legit travel agent. It remains to be seen if this is a life-changing event, but it’s pretty awesome either way.

Thanks to my travel course, I learned about the Tiffany card system, which is how airline reservations used to be made! (Photo from the NWA History Centre)

6. I met Brian Henson!

This is a big fucking deal. I know that he didn’t personally birth the Muppets, but the Muppets are essentially his siblings. Henson blood runs through his veins. Plus, the fact that we just happened to meet him in his office while getting a tour of the Henson Studios made it even more incredible. He sits at the same desk his father used. I was in the presence of greatness. (And he was really nice!)

Not Brian Henson.

5. I ate the menu degustation at Joel Robuchon!

I’d been talking about this dinner forever. The 16-course menu! Chef of the Century! Las Vegas! I don’t remember when I first learned that it existed, but it had become a goal worthy of my 40 by 40 list. With the help of my friend Rachel, I decided to make this dream come true this year for my 38th birthday. I had no idea I would be laid off the next week, but I'm so glad I got to have such a decadent experience right before the axe fell. From the purple velvet booth to the dessert in the form of a window box with tiny edible flowers, it was perfect. Definitely a meal that I'll remember for a lifetime.

The cutest damn dessert.

4. I did 12 Hours in Vegas!

When my plot to squeeze in a beach vacation before starting my new job was foiled by my children, who didn't want to miss school, my husband and I took advantage of cheap red-eye airfares to Vegas with a plan to tackle sin city in a 9am-9pm whirlwind. We pretty much did everything we'd normally do in Vegas (gamble, drink, gamble, eat, gamble) but on a compressed schedule. It was a fun little adventure that I'd definitely do again if the price was right...though I'd much prefer to stay a few days. 

The best.

3. I went to Pastry Bootcamp at the CIA!

I can hardly even believe it happened this year, but back in February, I jetted off to New York to achieve my 40 by 40 dream of attending pastry bootcamp at the Culinary Institute of America. I spent a whole week in class with a real French pastry chef teaching me to make eclairs and tiramisu and, of course, the 3-day croissants. If I could be a professional culinary student, I think I would. It was so much fun and such an unusual break from my ordinary life. Plus, I now have my very own chef whites!

My croissants!

2. I took an Alaskan cruise with my family!

Another 40 by 40 item list...well, two actually: Take a cruise and See the glaciers in Alaska. What a fantastic way to experience both! I loved everything about all of it. The ship, the water, the casino, the glaciers! I even liked being confined to a small space with the people I love most in the world. But if I was making a top 10 list of memories from that trip (and I totally could), #1 would definitely be dogsledding on the glacier in Skagway. The helicopter, the dogs, the scenery, the feeling of being at the top of the world...AMAZING.

Dashing through the snow!

1. I got to have a summer home with my boys!

I won't list being laid off as one of my favorite parts of 2015 because it was really hard and I still think the way it all went down was really callous and stupid. BUT, I will tell you that I believe I will look back and know that it was all for the best...starting with the fact that my unemployment started in June, which meant that I got a lot of unexpected time to spend with my boys when they are just on the cusp of not wanting to spend time with me anymore. And I'm really grateful for that.

This is a generic summer photo from the internet because I didn't have one of my own.

I just realized my list spans the four edges of the United States, which I think is super cool and fitting, as I do feel like I've been all over the place (physically and mentally) this year. Things change. Life is good. Life is even better when you have something to look forward to, and it's up to you to make that happen. Bring it on, 2016.

Happy New Year!

Must be Present to Win

The rebound gig is over and now that I'm officially re-entering unemployment (and feeling much happier about it this time), I figured I should revisit my 40 by 40 list, which seems to be perpetually stuck at having 15-16 things left on it. I don't know how that's possible, but it is.

Obviously I have to put all travel-related items on hold at the moment until a steady steam of income can be obtained...I'm saying that knowing full well that I intend to travel to LA this winter, but I'll save that for another post...when you hear the explanation, you'll agree that it meets the stringent exception criteria.

Ok, so removing travel items still leaves me with 10 things I could theoretically set my mind to accomplishing during my employment hiatus:

7. Write a rough draft of my book
17. Get another tattoo
18. Be debt free (excluding mortgage)
19. Make exercise part of my life
21. Win a contest
27. Wear a ball gown
30. Plan another treasure/scavenger hunt
34. Read “Don Quixote”
35. Write each one of my friends a letter saying what they mean to me
38. Learn to change a tire

What jumps out at you when you read that list? For me, it's #21 Win a contest, because that seems fun and like it won't require a major expense.

I should add that I have started #7 but I don't want to talk about it and I think it's possible that I've accomplished #19, but I'm not ready to call it yet. I also tried to buy "Don Quixote" at a bookstore in Ketchikan and interpreted the fact that they didn't have a copy as a sign that it wasn't time yet...ok, so back to winning a contest.

There was a debate about whether that time I auditioned for Wheel of Fortune counted as winning a contest because I had to make it through some type of vetting process to get that far, but I decided that it did not because, well...we did not make it on the show. Had we actually appeared on Wheel of Fortune maybe I would have said yes.

So how does one go about winning a contest? Well, first one must enter a contest. And since I've got less than 2 years, it seems like I should probably start entering many contests. People have asked me to qualify "contest" - like, could I just challenge my friend to a cake eating contest and be done? Sure, I suppose, except I think the spirit of #21 was that feeling of random luck that comes with entering something out of your control and coming up a winner. So, those are the vague guidelines I'm working with here.

Have you ever Googled "contest"? It's pretty amazing how many contests are underway at this very minute. So far today I've entered one at the Food Network and I'm considering another one where I have to make something out of apples... I now intend to devote time each week to finding new contests to enter until I win one...

My hope, of course, being that I stumble across something super interesting and/or amazing that leads me to discover something else interesting and/or amazing...because that's pretty much how both luck and the 40 by 40 list work...because if you try to do something interesting and/or amazing every day, that adds up to some interesting and/or amazing years and that ultimately means you're living an interesting life. And that's all I really want. Plus love, TV and cake.

Going North: #13 and 20!

If you ever want to make yourself NOT blog, just promise that you'll blog more often. Seriously. I told myself that I would blog at least twice a week as a way to feel semi-productive while laid off and...that was 6 weeks ago.

I'm off the hook for ONE of those weeks though because I was out crossing things off my 40 by 40 list!!

The first week of the month, my family took an Alaskan cruise, thus fulfilling both #13 and #20 on my list! I was nervous about the whole cruising thing, but it was amazing. Amazing! I highly recommended an Alaskan cruise...and a helicopter ride over the glaciers...and dog sledding on a glacier. Had I know such experiences existed when I made my list, I surely would have gone beyond "seeing" the glaciers to "flying over and landing and dog sledding on a glacier" but as it stands, these things were all just a magical bonus to the whole Alaska experience.

You can learn more about our particular mush team here.

I 

I think we, as people, generally accept that Alaska is "beautiful" in a faraway, conceptual sort of way. But seriously, it's beautiful. And glaciers are fucking amazing. 

They are blue! For real, blue! Just like the ocean! Isn't that cool? Like, yes, that's obvious and yet, wow, I never realized that at all.

And the cruise! Since I was little, I dreamt of having a magic machine that let me travel while I slept...well, it turns out they call those cruise ships. At no point did I stop being amazed by waking up to find us in port at a new little town.

I could write a whole post about the experience on the ship, but not today. Let's just say it was great. That's two more awesome life experiences thanks to my list. Thank you, list.

As for my real life, well, I'm still laid off...as in, I have not yet found permanent employment, but I did take a contract gig. It successfully quelled my fears about money (temporarily) but in retrospect was probably a bad choice so soon. I really still need to get my shit together for my job hunting. It can't be something I do in my spare time...not if I want to find something I actually want to do. So yeah, I have to figure that one out...better yet, I'd like to figure out how to live on a cruise ship and never work again, like this lady...minus the whole being alone part. Surely someone would pay me to blog from my life on a cruise ship...

#24: An ace that I can keep

I want to take a minute to acknowledge that while "The Gambler" is a critical piece of the American lexicon, that video is boring.  (But press play anyway and you'll have a nice soundtrack for the rest of this post.) You see, I don't have any photos to accompany the following announcement, so Kenny will have to do...

I have accomplished #24 on my 40 by 40 list! I have learned to play poker, as measured by the fact that last night I went to a poker room and actually played poker without making a total fool of myself.

First, I discovered that Mystic Lake (aka, the only nearby casino with slots) no longer offers poker, so after playing some slots, we headed down the road to Canterbury...home of my next hobby (as soon as I have an income again), horse racing. They have a card room, which I had never partaken in before, but, with my husband's encouragement, I marched up to the lady at the desk, said "I want to play hold 'em," and procured a spot at a table.

This table was playing 2/4 Hold 'Em. Since the extent of my experience so far had been playing with my husband and kids, I had no idea what the "2/4" meant, but it was the table with an open spot, so I sat down anyway. This was a 10 person table. No one but the dealer even acknowledged me, which was fine...I of course threw my cash on the table and had to be told to wait until the next hand. (Oh yes, yes of course...)

So they set a giant stack of $1 chips in front of me and I try to figure out what's going on. My at-home play had taught me the basics - as in, I knew what a good hand looked like, but playing with actual poker players is a little different than playing with your kids. The first few hands happened so fast with raises and folds that no one was showing their cards. The woman sitting next to me was knitting and barely seemed to be glancing at any of the cards, yet was winning some of the hands. The dealer was turning over 5 cards, not the 3 we had been practicing with. What is going on?!

I panicked and almost gave up. My husband, who wasn't playing, but was perched behind me, whispered "You're okay." I gritted my teeth and committed.

Slowly, I calmed down. It started making sense. I realized everyone in a poker is a liar. Obviously I knew bluffing was a big part of the game, but I hadn't realized it was most of the game.

I missed a chance to win with a pair of Jacks  - I folded and the dude only had a pair of 3s. We hadn't practiced a lot of bluffing at home. But I kept going. I gave back the bad cards without wasting a bet. I didn't fold every time someone raised, even if I was pretty sure I had nothing. And I won a hand!

Sadly I did not discover that I am a gifted poker player, ready to hit the professional circuit. I lost $70. But I learned a lot. And I was brave. And I accomplished something!

And I'd still take slots over poker any day.

On a (lobster) roll!

Today is my two week layoffiversary and what better way to celebrate than by crossing #39 off the 40 by 40 list: Cook a lobster.

By the way, I didn't wake up counting the days since I'd been laid off, I remembered it when the dental hygienist innocently asked me about work. Still, once I realized it, I enjoyed my midday, sunshiney walk around the lake with a friend just a little bit more. Add in my husband getting the night off from work, and it was time to cook some lobsters!

Maybe the way I worded this one is confusing because I think I really wanted to experience killing a live lobster, not just cooking any old lobster. In retrospect, I guess that's sort of morbid, but it seemed like an experience anyone who likes to cook should have. Just like the pie, I wanted to know that I could do it.

So we located the nearest grocer selling live lobsters and watched as our two were fished out of tank and put in a bag...then we watched that bag wriggle around all the way home.

This recipe in Bon Appetit was my catalyst for deciding that this was the month the lobster would be cooked, and the printed magazine also included a handy dandy guide to killing a lobster, which is where I learned the tip to put them in the freezer for 15 minutes to anesthetize them first. (Truth be told, they didn't seem all that sleepy after even 20 minutes in the freezer, but in my mind they had fewer feelings that way...)

I'm sorry, lobster. I'm going to slice you in half now.

If you've never held a live lobster, you might not realize that they're kind of gross. Like giant insects with claws...giant, wet insects with claws. But I gritted my teeth, and followed the instructions. This recipe was for grilling the lobster, so I had to hold the squirmy things down and cut them in half...alive. Which seemed better than hearing them scream in the boiling pot of water, right up until I was actually plunging the knife into them.

Pleasant is not a word I would use to describe that experience. They wiggled around the entire time. Also, lobster shells are very tough and I had to have my husband help me get the knife all the way through. And they were still twitching even after they were completely cut in half.

Then, I got the things open and had to scrape out the tomalley and eggs...

Sweet dreams are not made of this.

Are you horrified yet? No? How about if I told you that they were still twitching when I put them on the grill? Shudder.

But now comes the more glamorous part.

Gorgeous, right?!

This is why you pay the big bucks to eat lobster in restaurants...you want to get on the lobster bus right about here.

The grilling was simple. 6 minutes meat side down, flip, 3 minutes, done. And then we got...

Ta-da! I'm amazing!

So we ate like kings. Well, we ate the two lobsters. (I think you probably should buy one lobster per person...file that away for your next lobster party.)

Traumatic killing experience aside, it was fucking delicious. And I'm proud of myself. Goodbye, #39! You've taught me that unless I am trapped on lobster island, where live lobsters are my only food source, I can happily go through the rest of my life without doing that again!

I baked a pie!

In the spirit of being productive even when you don't have any work, I've crossed another item off my 40 by 40 list!  

Last night I completed #2: Bake a pie from scratch. I realize this might not seem like much a feat, but it wasn't on the list because it was hard, it was on the list because it was something I'd never done and wanted to do. 

It was just a coincidence that I made the pie the same day that gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states, but I dedicated it to celebrating that amazing milestone anyway...and so I pronounce the following to be: The Equality is Sweet as Caramel and American as Apple Pie.

As I'm prone to do, I overcomplicated the whole thing by using one recipe for the crust and another for the filling...and then I improvised by pouring caramel over the apples before putting on the top crust and baking. 

And through the magic of baking, I turned this...

Into THIS!

It isn't perfect, of course. The filling to crust ratio is off and I accidentally put 1 Tbsp of salt into the crust rather than 1 tsp, but luckily, the caramel kind of balanced it out, so it tasted like a salted caramel apple pie.

Easy as pie is a real dumb idiom, because cake is way easier, BUT I'm calling #2 a success!

I'm in no way convinced that this was better than buying a pie, but I'm still glad I did it just because a person should know they can bake a pie. Words to live by.

#3, or Everything is better on a fuzzy purple couch

On June 12, I accomplished #3 on my 40 by 40 list...the Menu Degustation at Joel Robuchon in Las Vegas.

From Wikipedia:

1. Degustation is a culinary term meaning a careful, appreciative tasting of various foods and focusing on the gustatory system, the senses, high culinary art and good company. Dégustation is more likely to involve sampling small portions of all of a chef's signature dishes in one sitting.

They used to call this a 16-course tasting menu...now it's technically 9 courses with 17 plates, plus a candy cart...so really, if you count the candy cart, the bread cart the amuse bouche, you're talking about 20 plates.

Eating all of that food was intimidating to me. Without going into detail, let's just say that I've tried many tasting menus and 9 plates is the furthest I've ever made it before needing to rearrange my stomach contents.

This time I was determined to make it the end, so I read up on competitive eater training regimens. I don't have all that much willpower, so although I didn't follow the eating plan to a T, I did eat a giant meal 24 hours before the dinner to stretch my stomach out. My friends all think I'm crazy, but that's how much this meant to me.

Spoiler alert! I successfully tried every plate (except the bread) and my stomach participated happily. It's worth noting that I also limited my beverage consumption during the meal to a single glass of champagne. This definitely helped.

Ok, so let me just mention that the place is gorgeous and it's purple and I want my dining room to look like that.

But you want to see the food, right?

The famed bread cart. I did not partake, but my companions all did and raved. There was bacon bread.

Amuse bouche - all I can tell you is that it's quinoa and red pepper sauce and tasted better than those things sound.

Le Caviar - that's king crab under there and a seafood gelee. 

1er Service - (clockwise from bottom left) L'Asperge Verte, green asparagus with coriander guacamole and medley of vegetables; La Tomate, tomato candies invigorated with lemon virgin olive oil; Le Homard, Maine lobster in a thinly sliced daikon with sweet and sour dressing.

2eme Service - On the right is L'Oeuf de Poule. This was served with a fancy smoker dome over the top of the egg..the perfect soft-boiled egg. On the left is La Cuisse de Grenouille - frog leg fritters. Seriously good.

3eme Service - (from top left) La Langoustine, truffled langoustine ravioli with simmered green cabbage; Le Petit Pois, green pea and almond velouté, scallion jam and fresh mint; L'Oursin, uni atop of fennel purée with potatoes and citrus jus

4eme Service - (from top left) Le Black Cod, carmelized black cod in Malabar pepper sauce with mini bok choy (You have never tasted cod like this! Amazing!); La Langouste, spiny lobster grilled with a green curry jus and fresh coriander; Le Foie Gras de Canard, seared foie gras with sweet and sour cherries and fresh almonds. (See how cute it is with the carrot through the foie gras? That's a tomato and a rosemary sprig!) This was my favorite savory course.

Le Plat "Tradition" - L'Epaule d'Agneau, braised and roasted shoulder of lamb with southern flavors. The lamb was impressive, yes, but those potatoes sitting over there are the famous Joel Robuchon potatoes. They are like heaven and velvet and air and love.

Finally, dessert! The one on the left was their substitution because I'm allergic to raspberries. It tasted a lot like grass...fancy grass. The middle is Le Citron, buttermilk cream and lemon sorbet - refreshing and light and delicious. And on the right is the tiniest ode to strawberries and rhubarb. Also delicious.

This was my favorite! Just look at it! Every plate appeared to be custom for the course, but how precious is this?! It's a flower box! But it's really Le Chocolat Illanka! Imagine a log of chocolate mousse with jasmine cream, pomegranate gelee and edible flowers. It was almost too cute to eat, but eat it, I did.

And finally, Escortes de mignardies...or candy cart for the less civilized. 40+ tiny delicacies that they make in-house. They tell you what everything is and then you must choose. They cut me off at four. I'd never had a coconut eclair before. The whole thing was just as over-the-top as it should be. 

And believe it or not, we were all conscious and able to walk out of there, with our gift bag of lemon pound cake and souvenir menus. How great is that?!

If I eventually compile a top 5 list of things I'm so grateful I put on the 40 by 40 list, this will be on it. It was amazing. Not just the food, but the experience...the everything. I am smitten. Thank you, Joel Robuchon.

38 and 12

I am officially 38. And I have 12 year olds. Having concurrent birthdays really makes the whole passage of time thing feel like a hammer smashing down on your illusion of youth. But, we're all healthy and happy and life is good, so what does it matter how old we are?

Well, it does matter in the sense that I now also officially have less than 2 years left to complete my 40 by 40 list. I've got numbers 3, 13 and 20 all cued up, so that's good. But somehow I still have 18 things left!! Yikes.

In honor of my birthday - and as a distraction from thinking about the fact that my babies are 12 - I thought I should make a plan for which items I'm going to check off the list in the next 12 months....

Ok, so already planned:

#3 - Eat Joel Robuchon's 16-course tasting menu in Las Vegas - this is BOOKED for one week from today!!!!!

#13 See the glaciers in Alaska - this is BOOKED for August!

#20 Take a cruise - we are cruising to #13!

What else can I feasibly take on in the next 12 months?

#2 Bake a pie from scratch - yes, I can do this. It should be relatively easy now that I'm been to pastry bootcamp.

#17 Get another tattoo - yes, this is going to happen. I know what I want and I just need to have it drawn...and then inked. I can do that this year.

#24 Learn how to play poker - given how much I love the casino, it's stupid that I haven't learned this yet. I can do that this year.

#34 Read Don Quixote - everyone tells me I don't really want to do this, but it seems that I do, so this might as well be the year.

#35 Write each one of my friends a letter saying what they mean to me - yes, I can do this. I will do this. I need to start now and work through them over the year.

#38 Learn to change a tire - again, why haven't I just done this? I can do this. This summer even...Even if I never actually have to use this knowledge because I have a cell phone and AAA.

#39. Cook a lobster - sounds like a dinner party! Maybe I should combine this one with #2. Could be fun.

Ok, so that leaves a solid 11 things for my 39th year of life. At some point I will have to decide what qualifies as making exercise part of my life...and I may need to start entering contests. But at least I've got a plan...

#9: The Time I Spent 3 Days Making Croissants

I just spent a week completing #9 on my 40 by 40 list: Do Pastry Boot Camp at the CIA! I returned yesterday and I'm still figuring out what I learned and which parts I loved the most.

I was in New York for a full week (Sunday to Saturday) and it was really weird being away from my husband and kids that long...and also not setting foot into Manhattan. But it was so great to be immersed in learning something that I truly wanted to learn!

The CIA (Culinary Institute of America) is in Hyde Park, NY, which is about 2 hours north of Manhattan. I was lucky enough to have a friend to stay with in Cold Spring (thanks, Maggie & Danny!) so I didn't have to shell out for a hotel, which would have nearly doubled the price of this adventure...and it wasn't a cheap adventure.

The CIA is like Hogwarts for chefs. It's in a former Jesuit monastery. The dining hall is the former chapel. It's all very impressive.

There are kitchens everywhere (these are the classrooms) and the school even has three public-facing restaurants, staffed by students. It's maybe the coolest trade school ever.

So, I was in boot camp with 13 other culinary "enthusiasts" who had come from as close as the neighboring county and as far as South Korea. Crazy. And I was surprised to find another Minnesotan in the group. Small world.

There were lots of older women in the group, which made me feel young, which I especially appreciated because the students at the CIA all look like babies...but I guess that's what 18 year olds look like now. Getting old is such a bitch!

Anyway, it was really amazing to get to spend a week with a real French chef. Our instructor was Chef Gilles Ballay, a Parisian who has been working in pastry for 27 years, including stints under Alain Ducasse and Jean Phillipe. That's legit.

He is very French and very passionate and very good at what he does. I would have gladly spent an entire day just listening to his experiences in pastry, but he liked to talk about the "produce" more than himself.  He made a point of telling us he does not like drama in his kitchen and when he says "catastrophe" he says it as if it ends with an "f"...ca-tas-trof! I love that.

The first thing I learned is that croissants take 3 days to make! And yes, that includes the croissants you get at Starbucks. 3 days! So, yeah, I probably won't be opening up a croissant shop anytime soon. But we did make them. The first day we made the dough, the next day we locked in the butter and rolled and folded until it was time to cut and shape them into things that look like croissants (plain and chocolate!), then the next day we proofed and baked them.

Croissants Day 1 - I made an amazing ball of dough, almost the size of my head.

Croissant Day 2: Locked, rolled and folded. 

Croissants Day 3: Look! They're croissants! All proofed and ready to bake.

Ta-da! Croissants!

They were really, really good. But 3 days? Not unless I was doing it as my job.

We did several different things every day, so it wasn't like we just stared at croissant dough. I also made eclairs, fruit tarts, tiramisu and marshmallow! All were delicious. The only thing that really gave me trouble was tempering chocolate, which was a bummer, but I'm sure I could figure it out if I worked at it. 

In addition to actual technique, I learned that pastry is really time consuming and intricate and that you aren't in charge - your food is. Our chef says pastry should be fun and he's right, you have to love it to do it well. I've got the love...I just need a bit more practice. 

I am SO glad that I did the bootcamp. And I'm glad it was hard and that it required me to put my life on hold for a week. I didn't come back ready to drop everything and open a bakery, but I was reminded of what it's like to spend your days doing things you love rather than things you just have to do and I needed that reminder.

I'm still ruminating on how to use this experience to shape my next steps in life, but I'm definitely better for having done it. Food is amazing! Travel is amazing! School can be amazing! And I am so lucky that I have a life that allows me to experience so many amazing things.

Eating Thanksgiving Dinner in a Fancy Restaurant

I was thankful for a great many things this Thanksgiving, including my boys, my husband, my dog, the health of all of our families, and the fact that we live a pretty great life. But a special note of gratitude went out to my 40 by 40 list for motivating me to do things that I want to do and might not have gotten around to doing otherwise, including...

#16 Eat Thanksgiving dinner in a fancy restaurant

Check!

We hosted our traditional pumpkin pancake brunch in the morning, which assuaged my guilt at choosing a fancy restaurant over my in-laws this year.

I went a fairly traditional route with the fancy restaurant. Kincaid's is exactly the type of place you would picture when you imagine eating Thanksgiving dinner out. No molecular gastronomy or nouveau cuisine, just a straight up turkey dinner.

It was fun. It honestly wasn't all that different from eating out any other day of the year except that it had maybe more of a festive feel. Of course I love being waited on and the food was great (even though I really don't like turkey much), but what I learned from the experience is that really we should go out and order fancy food, not turkey. In my mind, I wanted to go have the classic Thanksgiving meal prepared by a chef, but I think what I really want is to eat a fancy meal instead of having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I'll file that away for the next time I have the opportunity to dine out on Thanksgiving.

Ok, so now I'm at the halfway point: 20/40. It took me nearly 5.5 years to get here and now I'll finish the other half of the list in just 2.5 years. I can do this!

40 by 40 Progress Check

I thought it was a good time to give a progress report on my 40 by 40 list. I'm really excited because I think I'm going to cross several things off the list in the next few months!

Ok, so for the record, I've only crossed off 16 of my 40 so far and I have just over 2.5 years left. BUT, here's what's in the works:

#16 - Eat Thanksgiving dinner in a fancy restaurant. This one is happening this Thanksgiving! In my mind it was going to be a fancy restaurant out of town, but it's actually maybe more exciting to go to a local fancy restaurant because we can still do our family pumpkin pancake brunch and then hit the restaurant for dinner.

#9 - Pastry Bootcamp at the CIA is booked for February!

#13 - See the glaciers in Alaska and #20 Take a cruise...these two birds will be killed with one stone because I'm scoping an Alaskan cruise for our next family vacation. (pricier than I thought, but it sounds amazing)

#37 - See the Grand Canyon...I think I'm going to take a helicopter tour the next time we're in Vegas because I can't get excited about planning a whole trip around it. However, I've never been in a helicopter, so we can add that to the list of cool things I should have put on my 40 by 40 list but didn't, but did them anyway.

So you see, that's 5 more things in the next 4 months, which puts me at 21/40, which is at least more than halfway done, which seems slightly less overwhelming. I could knock out the ones that don't require travel or anything particularly difficult (e.g. Cook a lobster) but I'm sort of saving those I think so some of my list still seems easily achievable. Ah, psychology.

Behind the Wheel

On Wednesday my husband and I auditioned for Wheel of Fortune. Yep, the real one. Life is weird.

It could have been my chance to complete #21 on my 40 by 40 list, but alas, it was not meant to be. (Well, one could argue that just getting the audition is winning a contest, but I am not that one.)

I realize I just spoiled the ending, but I thought it only fair to get the not being chosen part out of the way first, so we can focus on the experience of auditioning.

Ok, so if you visit the Wheel of Fortune site, you can learn about audition opportunities and that whole process, so I'll cut to chase and say that you have to apply with a video (unless you hunt down the Wheelmobile, which seems horrific). I like Wheel of Fortune - I love the slots - but it's not an affection on-par with The Price is Right. Still, being on the show sounded pretty awesome.

However, I didn't really want to make a video and probably would not have, were it not for my coworker, who shares my love of games and game shows and was an enthusiastic participant. Also, my other coworker shot and edited the video. I have awesome coworkers.

The video was silly and fun and it apparently showcased my ability to yell out letters better than my coworker because sadly, I got an audition and she didn't. (And that is a total bummer, so I'm hoping they're just saving her for the next round.)

Ok, so when I got the invitation to audition, it said they're shooting a special series of shows for parents with kids, so I should bring my spouse. Lucky for me, my spouse enables my love of game shows and agreed to come even though this was in no way his dream.

So we show up at the specified hotel ballroom at the specified time and find 50 other people there for the same purpose. They take attendance, show us a special audition video with Pat and Vanna and then run us through a drill where we all yell letters at the appropriate volume. Then we're off and playing in this weird audition format where you wait for your name to called, stand up and pretend you're actually on the show for one turn, and then sit and wait to be called again.

Awkward is the word I would use to describe the experience. And stressful. And counter to my nature. (Ok, so 6 words.) As I was sitting there listening for our names, I was asking myself Am I having fun or do I hate this?

First of all, when placed in a room full of strangers, I tend to hope not to be called upon. In this case, I needed to be called upon in order to actually be considered for the show.

Second, the professional casting team was full of instructions: Smile, get excited, interact with your spouse, take turns speaking, enunciate, project, don't take too long, don't forget to buy vowels, act like you're on the show....it was a lot.

We got called on 3 times and even though I was having trouble even remembering my name, we solved a puzzle! THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN! It was a great puzzle to solve and it won us a Wheel of Fortune hat and a tote bag. Score.

After about an hour of that, it was time for the written test. And if we'd been in the running up until then, I can assure you that my test score is what got us eliminated.

You get 5 minutes to solve a sheet of word puzzles that are just like on the show except that you only get a few of the letters, which means you might have something that looks like this (times 20):
"Thing"

G _ _ _ _
_ _   _ _ _ _ R

At first I thought I would get zero, so I guess ultimately solving 5 in 5 minutes is an accomplishment.

While they graded our tests, we watched a highlight reel from the 4000th episode retrospective. Then they came back and told us that if our names were called, we got to move on to the next round, and if not, well thanks for coming.

Our names were not called. Cue sad trombone.

Ah, well. It was still a once-in-a-lifetime experience and it gives me a lot more sympathy for those poor contestants who can't seem to solve even the most obvious puzzles.

Guess I need to find another contest to win...

Mapping and Plotting

Having less than 3 years until I turn 40 has put a new sense of urgency on my 40 by 40 list. I have a habit of not always finishing things and there's just no way I'm not finishing this one.

I actually sat down and mapped out the rest of my 40 by 40 list travel so that I can make sure it all really happens. Plotting it all out is pretty fun, altho I'm a little worried that I may be working against #18 in trying to accomplish all the rest. Maybe my 50 by 50 list can include some more fiscally responsible options.

My latest exciting news is that I'm registered for Pastry Bootcamp (that's #9)! That is one of the larger undertakings on my list, so it feels awesome to know that I'm really making it happen...I just have to wait until February. Maybe I will be so inspired by bootcamp that I will change careers and pursue of the dream of making dessert all day...ok, the dream is really to eat dessert all day, which may be in direct conflict with any aspirations to make a living selling desserts.

Being surrounded by that stuff all day just sounds amazing.

Let's hope I figure out how to turn what I learn at bootcamp into something that makes me at least as happy as the image search for "French Pastry." Sky's the limit.

Goodbye, #8!

I have accomplished #8 on the 40 by 40 list! We returned a couple weeks ago from our trip to Ireland, where we drove much of the coast. My synopsis: Ireland is amazing and you should go every chance you get!

This was actually my third trip to Ireland, but I'd never gone much farther than Dublin. What a beautiful country and such wonderful people. We even found the place where we want to retire! (Watch for it on my 70 by 70 list.)

Every day of this trip was incredible, but here are just a few highlights:

We flew into Dublin and drove north, where we stayed in an adorable little town called Portrush, but the reason we were there was to see the Giant's Causeway, which is a series of basalt columns created by lava during an ancient volcanic eruption. The photo doesn't do it justice, but it actually brought tears to my eyes, it was so magnificent. I know it sounds cheesy, but sights like this are literally the reason that art exists. It explains why Ireland is so rich with folklore...how would you explain this is if you just happened upon it 1000 years ago?

Giant's Causeway with boys

After that amazingness, we headed southwest, stopping at the gravesite of W.B. Yeats (where my boys will proudly tell you they had some good ice cream) and ending up in Galway. After a night in Galway City, we headed farther west to spend our 13th wedding anniversary in a CASTLE near Connemara National Park. Yeah, we're fancy.

View from the castle grounds

From there we headed to the Cliffs of Moher, which have to be seen to be believed. I don't know if there's a more fitting use of "breathtaking." Plus, because it's not America, they let you walk straight out to the edge of the cliffs, with nothing more than a sign telling you that the ground could give way. I really did have to question why I would walk my kids to the edge of a cliff so nonchalantly and my only explanation is that you just had to try to take in as much of it as you could.

Cliffs of Moher

From there we went farther south to the Dingle Peninsula. I had no idea I was about to fall in love, but wow, that place is gorgeous. Picturesque. Perfect? It's like the perfect combo of being amazingly beautiful while also feeling like you could actually live there. I'm not kidding, I want to live there someday.

Slea Head Drive, Dingle

After some additional meandering through the south part of Ireland - including rush hour in Cork City (boo) - we then made it back East to Kildare, where we stayed one night before heading back toward Dublin for the remainder of our trip. We couldn't skip the Wicklow Way, tho. You'd think we would have been tired of rolling green hills by then, but no...I don't think I could ever get sick of this.

Wicklow Way

There are hundreds of other highlights I'm not mentioning here, but let's just say that it truly was a dream trip. I've been referring to it as the Ireland Sampler Platter because we only spent one night in each place except Dublin. It was exhausting and thrilling and amazing. I'm so thankful that we were able to make it happen. The 40 by 40 list really was the catalyst...sure, I dreamed of doing it, but having it on that list really motivated me to do it now. Thank you again, 40 by 40 list. 

Sláinte! 

37

It's my birthday. Time to review my 40 by 40 list and see if I'm making adequate progress...am I making the most of my days? Lord knows that I'll never be as young as I am right now, so I should really get a move on.

Well, before I get to the 40 by 40 list, I have to tell you about my trip this past weekend to Seattle, where I did something that I wish I could go back and put on my 40 by 40 list, but did not have the forethought: Sing with one of my rock idols.

The Seattle trip was a spontaneous decision spurred by the fact that Throwing Muses was doing a short reunion tour and Tanya Donelly (whom I admire and adore) was opening...and it happened to be the weekend before my birthday. The show was at The Triple Door, which is a really cool dinner theater sort of club in Seattle.

We had dinner in the bar that's out front. Tanya Donelly was actually sitting, having dinner, in a booth not 50 feet from us. My husband offered to stop her to say hi and ask for a photo, but I declined because I didn't want to bother her...even though the sight of her made me giddy.

Our seats were amazing. Right in front. Tanya came out and before long, she sang a Belly song. This made me tear up in that "Omg, I didn't know if I'd ever hear this live again" sort of way. I realized I have some emotional attachment to Tanya and Belly because I listened to them all through high school. I basically discovered them at the start of sophomore year and it was love at first listen. I just connected with her.

So I'm already SO happy to be there and then Tanya stops and announces that it's time to bring someone - or anyone - up to caterwaul on "Not Too Soon", which happens to be my favorite Throwing Muses song. Without thinking, I just got up and went to the stage. I don't usually do things like that, but having just missed the opportunity to meet her in the bar, loving her and loving the song, I guess I was emboldened.

There were 8 of us. We made a semi-circle behind her. I was directly behind her left shoulder. The entire time, I stared at the back of her head. I studied the claw clips in her hair - two black ones forming almost-pigtails and two tiny silver ones holding up the hair below. I could not believe that Tanya Donelly was 6 inches from me, singing one of my favorite songs. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to cry. I was numb. All at once. It was amazing.

Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all. Afterward, my husband kept saying how I sang in front of a crowd, but I didn't see the crowd. All I knew is that I was singing backup...to one of my favorite musicians...on one of my favorite songs. Did I mention that it was amazing? I don't know when the last time is that my happiness has been so pure. I'm tempted to cross something off my 40 by 40 list and add this one in just so I can cross it off as complete...but I won't.

Ok, so back to the 40 by 40 list. I can't announce that I've crossed anything off lately, but I can commit to a few of them in the year ahead:

• #8: Tour the coasts of Ireland - this is BOOKED! We are leaving Dublin at the end of July and will drive the coast for nearly 2 weeks!
• #9: Do Pastry Boot Camp at the CIA - the next session is in February and I'm like 75% sure that I'm going to enroll. It's more expensive that I'd like, but I think it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• #17: Get another tattoo - I finally figured out the tattoo I want to get, so now I just need to have it drawn and figure out when to do it. Sometime in the next year seems doable.

There are several others things I could take on in the next year, but those are the 3 that are currently in my plans. But since I've got more than half the list yet and only 3 years, I should probably step it up. 

More to come. Let me just say that I am grateful for my 37-year-old body (even as it gets rounder) and I am grateful that I can get up everyday and hold my kids and walk around and that I have the luxury to dream of more. Life is good. Happy birthday to me.