37

It's my birthday. Time to review my 40 by 40 list and see if I'm making adequate progress...am I making the most of my days? Lord knows that I'll never be as young as I am right now, so I should really get a move on.

Well, before I get to the 40 by 40 list, I have to tell you about my trip this past weekend to Seattle, where I did something that I wish I could go back and put on my 40 by 40 list, but did not have the forethought: Sing with one of my rock idols.

The Seattle trip was a spontaneous decision spurred by the fact that Throwing Muses was doing a short reunion tour and Tanya Donelly (whom I admire and adore) was opening...and it happened to be the weekend before my birthday. The show was at The Triple Door, which is a really cool dinner theater sort of club in Seattle.

We had dinner in the bar that's out front. Tanya Donelly was actually sitting, having dinner, in a booth not 50 feet from us. My husband offered to stop her to say hi and ask for a photo, but I declined because I didn't want to bother her...even though the sight of her made me giddy.

Our seats were amazing. Right in front. Tanya came out and before long, she sang a Belly song. This made me tear up in that "Omg, I didn't know if I'd ever hear this live again" sort of way. I realized I have some emotional attachment to Tanya and Belly because I listened to them all through high school. I basically discovered them at the start of sophomore year and it was love at first listen. I just connected with her.

So I'm already SO happy to be there and then Tanya stops and announces that it's time to bring someone - or anyone - up to caterwaul on "Not Too Soon", which happens to be my favorite Throwing Muses song. Without thinking, I just got up and went to the stage. I don't usually do things like that, but having just missed the opportunity to meet her in the bar, loving her and loving the song, I guess I was emboldened.

There were 8 of us. We made a semi-circle behind her. I was directly behind her left shoulder. The entire time, I stared at the back of her head. I studied the claw clips in her hair - two black ones forming almost-pigtails and two tiny silver ones holding up the hair below. I could not believe that Tanya Donelly was 6 inches from me, singing one of my favorite songs. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to cry. I was numb. All at once. It was amazing.

Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all. Afterward, my husband kept saying how I sang in front of a crowd, but I didn't see the crowd. All I knew is that I was singing backup...to one of my favorite musicians...on one of my favorite songs. Did I mention that it was amazing? I don't know when the last time is that my happiness has been so pure. I'm tempted to cross something off my 40 by 40 list and add this one in just so I can cross it off as complete...but I won't.

Ok, so back to the 40 by 40 list. I can't announce that I've crossed anything off lately, but I can commit to a few of them in the year ahead:

• #8: Tour the coasts of Ireland - this is BOOKED! We are leaving Dublin at the end of July and will drive the coast for nearly 2 weeks!
• #9: Do Pastry Boot Camp at the CIA - the next session is in February and I'm like 75% sure that I'm going to enroll. It's more expensive that I'd like, but I think it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• #17: Get another tattoo - I finally figured out the tattoo I want to get, so now I just need to have it drawn and figure out when to do it. Sometime in the next year seems doable.

There are several others things I could take on in the next year, but those are the 3 that are currently in my plans. But since I've got more than half the list yet and only 3 years, I should probably step it up. 

More to come. Let me just say that I am grateful for my 37-year-old body (even as it gets rounder) and I am grateful that I can get up everyday and hold my kids and walk around and that I have the luxury to dream of more. Life is good. Happy birthday to me. 

Birthday blur

Birthday week just barreled through like a freight train. In fact, things moved so fast that I forgot to enjoy the week between my/boys bday week and Father's Day/husband bday week and here we are right back into celebration mode...which isn't bad, mind you. It's just really expensive and slightly chaotic.

This was my first birthday in 4 years that I didn't stare at my 40 by 40 list. Perhaps this is because I am so far behind schedule on it this year or maybe it's just because I've just been on autopilot lately. Either way, it deserves a bit of reflection. I just went through a crossed off the two most recent things I accomplished:

#6 Learn to play guitar
I did this! I really did. I'm not a pro or anything, but I learned 7 or 8 chords and could legitimately sit down and play you a song today, which is a LOT more than I could do back in January. (Hopefully you like "Hey Jude" and "Live on Tomorrow") I thought about recording myself playing as proof that I'd accomplished this one (because usually there is some kind of evidence), but I think I left my recording-myself-singing-songs phase behind when I was about 11...I can't even imagine if YouTube had existed back then.

#36 Eat at Per Se
My dessert tasting menu experience was so lovely and fun that I think it fulfills this list item. True, when I put this on the list I imagined eating in the main dining room, but I feel like I got just the perfect amount of the Per Se experience without dropping $500 on dinner. (I'm so fiscally responsible!)

Reading through my 40 by 40 list is such a great reminder of how much you can change year-to-year without even realizing. Running a 5K is always the easiest example to use because I literally could not run one mile back when I made this list and now I run two miles as a regular jog and can run a 5K on a moment's notice.

I like #22 too (Learn to make and appreciate a good martini) because dirty martinis are now one of my favorite drinks. I even started a book club that includes drinking martinis! 4 years ago I didn't even know how to order one properly.

This is all to say that I still love my 40 by 40 list even though I haven't been loving blogging much lately. Everything comes in waves, right? So maybe if I ride this one out, I'll re-emerge in a place where I can put blogging back into my routine...if I take all of the trips remaining on my list, I should have plenty to blog about.

In good news, we're taking a step toward #18 (Be debt free) - we finally got our old house back on the market yesterday! That's the house we brought our tiny babies home to 10 years ago, so it's got lots of good memories, but it's also the house we've been saddled with for the past six years while the housing market tanked, so I will be very happy and relieved to sign it over to a new owner. (Fingers crossed)

Off I go, marching into Father's Day and another birthday, and before we know it June will be over. Go smell some flowers or something.