This girl vowed that when she finally found a new job, she would fit in a beach vacation before that job started. She just wanted to feel the sun on her face and enjoy the freedom of vacation one last time before jumping back into work.
Then one day, the job offer came and she rejoiced! We're going on vacation! I've got it all planned! The beach! The sun! Just a quick trip to renew my sense of joy and adventure, she said. But alas, the girls' children did not agree with this plan. School! They cried. We have school! And so the girl resigned herself to the fact that there would be no last-chance, don't-have-to-take-vacation-time vacation.
Until one day when really cheap flights to Las Vegas appeared...but wait, the return flight left at midnight...and it became clear what she (and her wonderfully supportive husband) must do...
12 Hours in Vegas
6 a.m. CST: Leave our house for the airport. It took hours to figure out what one wears when there will be no hotel and you must gracefully transition from morning flight to nice dinner. I finally settled on black.
7:40 a.m. CST: Board flight. This is going to be the best day ever!
9:22 a.m. PT: Arrive! Air travel is magical!
9:55 a.m. PT: We are entering Planet Hollywood. Life is a dream. I am here to drink mimosas and play Britney slots. I get out my handy dandy players club bracelet (DIY) and get serious about having fun.
10:32 a.m. PT: Britney was a bust but I now have "3" stuck in my head. We have discovered a new Monopoly slot machine with a giant wheel a la Price is Right. There is also a crazy Big Bang Theory machine. Who makes these decisions? How do I get THAT job?
10:51 a.m. PT: We are on the Strip, determined to do the next thing on my list: Have the breakfast martini at Bound in The Cromwell. Sure, they probably didn't actually intend for it be had for breakfast, but this is my best day ever!
10:56 a.m. PT: Bound doesn't technically open for 4 minutes, but I am so enthusiastic about the breakfast martini that the bartender doesn't mention it.
11:00 a..m. PT: The drink has orange marmalade in it! It's amazing and I feel classier than anyone has ever felt drinking martinis before lunch. Also, The Cromwell is nice...I make a note to stay here sometime.
11:22 a.m. PT: OMG, they brought back the Family Feud slots and you can play Fast Money!!!!
11:39 a.m. PT: We are headed to the oasis known as Margaritaville. My plan is to sit on their rooftop patio and eat a Cheeseburger in Paradise with the sun on my face. When we arrive, we are informed that the patio is closed...because it's Tuesday...and 62 degrees. Oh, surely if Jimmy Buffet knew the distance I had traveled in order to eat a cheeseburger on his patio he would have opened it for me. But no.
11:56 a.m. PT: We walked the whole promenade they built leading up to the High Roller (which we went on during our last trip...4 months ago) searching for a place to sit in the sun and eat lunch. Apparently that's not so much a thing in Vegas. These damn desert dwellers take their sun for granted!
12:04 p.m. PT: I decide that if we can't eat outside, we might as well go somewhere reliably good, so we grab a seat at BLT Burger. The burger is good, but the Malibu Barbie boozy shake is GREAT. I momentarily feel like I'm on a beach vacation wrapped in a Vegas vacation.
12:52 p.m. PT: I once again declare this the best day ever. We do a lap around the Mirage casino and we're off to Caesar's. I take time to sit, then lay, on the side of the fountains at Caesar's. The sun is on my face. Life is amazing!
1:04 p.m. PT: I am horrified to find that my beloved Seahorse Lounge is closed for no good reason. Their website says they should be open. I angrily Instagram the hotel even though I know I should have tweeted them. I try the Gremlins slots. Seriously, who decides what gets a slot machine?
1:33 p.m. PT: Disappointed in Caesar's (as usual), we're off to the Bellagio. My M Life card won't work...I'll deal with that in a minute, but first I must play Wonka. I get a crazy bonus that let's me play like 4 mini-games in a row. I am triumphant.
1:46 p.m. PT: We make our way to the M Life desk. I give her my old blue card and am handed a shiny new white card. She informs me that I've been upgraded to Pearl level! Although I have no idea how this has happened, I suspect that the universe is telling me that every decision that got me here was correct. Thank you, universe...and M Life.
2:21 p.m. PT: Starbucks break. There's a woman trying to use a coupon. That seems funny to me.
2:40 p.m. PT: We discover that the casino at the Cosmopolitan has nearly every game we want to play. Fun! I make a note to stay here sometime...But we have to come back here for our dinner reservation, so we must keep moving.
4:47 p.m. PT: We hit New York-New York already. It was uneventful, so we've found our way to MGM. We've decided to play video roulette and I order a cosmo. What could possibly go wrong?
5:04 p.m. PT: Ok, we're running out of money (as in, our allotted budget, not our savings account) so we decide to make our way back up toward Cosmopolitan because I have a thing for The Chandelier Bar.
6:11 p.m. PT: I am in the chandelier. It takes forever to get our drinks, but mine has cream cheese espuma on it...it's alright. I feel underdressed for The Chandelier, but it's barely even dinnertime, so whatever.
6:50 p.m. PT: We arrive at China Poblano early for our 7 p.m. dinner reservation. It's not a problem, it's Tuesday. They seat us. This was a good choice - it's chic-casual. I can wear jeans, but I could also wear a dress and it would be ok. We order margaritas with "salt air" and a bunch of yummy things off the asian/mexican menu. I like it.
8:04 p.m. PT: Exhaustion is setting in, but so is the desperation that comes with knowing that I have mere hours left in Vegas. We've agreed we must be in a cab back to the airport by 9 p.m. because my husband is somewhat crazy about being early to the airport.
8:23 p.m. PT: I'm playing whatever catches my eye. There's a machine where you play 12 different slot machines at once. I want to try it all out before I have to go. I am not winning money.
8:53 p.m. PT: We are getting in a cab - probably should have waited until 9:22 p.m. to make it a perfect 12 hours, but my mind is not thinking that hard. I am saying goodbye to this city as if I will never see it again, though I already know I will be back before the end of the year.
9:45 p.m. PT: We are at our gate. It's almost midnight at home. I am so tired and nothing is open and there is no where to lay down. My husband tells me to lay on the floor. I decline and whine some more. Everything has been fabulous until this point. I vow to figure out how to join one of those swanky airline lounges next year.
10:45 p.m. PT: We are finally boarding. Hallelujah, the flight is less than half full, which means there's room to lay down! I am asleep before the captain can tell us our cruising altitude.
5:12 a.m. CST: We have disembarked and are almost to our car, which we parked less than 24 hours ago. I am ruined for the day, but if the price was right, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
