The Rebound, and Wishing on a Star

I tried to avoid the relationship analogy for my layoff at first because I didn't like the idea that I was "married" to my job, but the longer it's been, the more apropos that analogy seems.

So yes, my job suddenly left me. Everyone said enjoy your freedom! But I could not, because it was too scary not to have a job and it was too scary not to know what I wanted to do next. So when this other job came along, just three weeks into my breakup, I was relieved. I knew it was too soon, but I was wooed by the promise of income and feeling needed. Plus, it was a contract gig - nothing serious.

And we can all see where this is going...that was my rebound. I'd like to say it was fun while it lasted, but...instead, let's just say that it was different. It got my brain focusing on something other that resumes and job postings and excel spreadsheets that calculate how long we could stretch my severance in a worst case scenario, slightly-less than worst case, and on and on. But I've given my notice. It's time to say goodbye and stop considering jobs that I know won't challenge me in the right ways. You see, I stopped myself from saying "jobs that I know won't make me happy" because I don't know if that's the right bar.

I don't work to be happy. I work to support my family and complete my 40 by 40 list. I work because I like to use my brain and yes, because I even like being part of team...once I get to know my teammates.

None of that is to say I can't find a job that I like. A job where I want to stay and become an expert and where I like my coworkers. That is an achievable goal. But I won't get there if I keep ignoring my Jiminy Cricket voice that tells me right away when something isn't right for me. I'm choosing to stop allowing "make money" to trump that voice, because that voice knows me best.

So, Jiminy Cricket and I are now jumping headfirst into finding Mr. Right Job. Because as Jiminy says, "If you don't have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?"

Let's hope one of us remembers how to date.

Going North: #13 and 20!

If you ever want to make yourself NOT blog, just promise that you'll blog more often. Seriously. I told myself that I would blog at least twice a week as a way to feel semi-productive while laid off and...that was 6 weeks ago.

I'm off the hook for ONE of those weeks though because I was out crossing things off my 40 by 40 list!!

The first week of the month, my family took an Alaskan cruise, thus fulfilling both #13 and #20 on my list! I was nervous about the whole cruising thing, but it was amazing. Amazing! I highly recommended an Alaskan cruise...and a helicopter ride over the glaciers...and dog sledding on a glacier. Had I know such experiences existed when I made my list, I surely would have gone beyond "seeing" the glaciers to "flying over and landing and dog sledding on a glacier" but as it stands, these things were all just a magical bonus to the whole Alaska experience.

You can learn more about our particular mush team here.

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I think we, as people, generally accept that Alaska is "beautiful" in a faraway, conceptual sort of way. But seriously, it's beautiful. And glaciers are fucking amazing. 

They are blue! For real, blue! Just like the ocean! Isn't that cool? Like, yes, that's obvious and yet, wow, I never realized that at all.

And the cruise! Since I was little, I dreamt of having a magic machine that let me travel while I slept...well, it turns out they call those cruise ships. At no point did I stop being amazed by waking up to find us in port at a new little town.

I could write a whole post about the experience on the ship, but not today. Let's just say it was great. That's two more awesome life experiences thanks to my list. Thank you, list.

As for my real life, well, I'm still laid off...as in, I have not yet found permanent employment, but I did take a contract gig. It successfully quelled my fears about money (temporarily) but in retrospect was probably a bad choice so soon. I really still need to get my shit together for my job hunting. It can't be something I do in my spare time...not if I want to find something I actually want to do. So yeah, I have to figure that one out...better yet, I'd like to figure out how to live on a cruise ship and never work again, like this lady...minus the whole being alone part. Surely someone would pay me to blog from my life on a cruise ship...