You Gotta Try to Stay Alive

Spring has sprung finally in Minneapolis (although rumor has it there will be snow on Wednesday) and we've been doing some spring cleaning. Today I found an old notebook from one of the many writing classes I've taken over the years.

I don't know what year it was from - maybe 2004 - and I had written down writing goals as part of the class. My 5-year goal was to have a book published (ok, a "best selling novel"). My ideal worklife was to write all day and then play with the boys in the afternoons and evenings.

I still think that's my ideal worklife, if we're making wishes on stars. However, I've yet to become motivated to the point that I actually sit down and write. I could tell you that inspiration hasn't struck, but I know that successful writers write even when there is no inspiration. It's about priorities...which means it's actually about overcoming the fear of pursuing the dream, because it's so safe and cozy to think about what you wish would happen, but it's really, really hard to try it and fail.

Maybe my 40 by 40 list is really just meant to bring me to the place where I'm more pulled by the feeling of trying it than pushed by the fear of failing at it.

Speaking of 40 by 40, I can now play two legit songs on guitar! I mean, I still stumble and I definitely still have to read the music, but back in January, I couldn't play a single chord, so that is progress. And I'm learning that you can get pretty far only knowing 5 chords and a few variations of them. My guitar teacher leans toward the Bob Dylan/Jimi Hendrix stuff, but I started teaching myself to play a Juliana Hatfield song and I'm finding it to be much more motivating...probably because in high school, I fantasized about being Juliana Hatfield. (Then when I was a critic, I got to interview her on the phone - all I remember is that she burned the rice she was cooking while talking to me.)

So yeah, I'm now performing a stilted version of "Live on Tomorrow" multiple times per day in my living room. While the song's sentiment is ultimately positive, I probably wouldn't have chosen those lyrics to put on repeat for my kids, but I didn't know all of the chords for any of her other songs (at least not based on my brief internet search), so if it means we have to have a heart-to-heart about not letting people treat you like shit, even if ultimately you can triumph over it, then so be it. I'm totally going to play that song without looking at the music by my birthday.

Ok, so I'm trying to think of a good way to segue from Juliana Hatfield to my Smart but Good recipe, but the best I've got is that both Juliana and peanut butter cups are simple pleasures. (Side note: Did you know "segway" isn't a real word? All the times you've said you needed a "segway" from one topic to another you meant segue, unless you were referring to the mode of transportation! OMG.)

Disclosure: I still don't eat a ton of gluten, but I've definitely fallen off the health kick. Sure, I make better choices as a rule, but I also sometimes eat nachos and burgers (not generally together). What I'm trying to say is that this recipe feels like a bit of a cop out because I'm not totally sure that it's "smart" to eat peanut butter cups, even if they are gluten free. Also, I'm not totally sure that regular peanut butter cups aren't already gluten free...if so, I'd stick with those.

And with that ringing endorsement, I bring you the latest Smart and Good recipe!

The peanut butter layer.

They-Taste-Like-Homemade Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cups
(adapted from All Day I Dream About Food)

For Chocolate outside:
¼ cup butter
3 oz unsweetened chocolate
3 tbsp powdered sugar (you can make your own unrefined version by putting your alternate sugar in the blender - I used palm sugar)
2 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For Peanut Butter inside:

½ cup peanut butter
3 tbsp powdered sugar
½ tsp vanilla extract

You also need 12 muffin liners or candy cups (whatever those are) - something to make the "cup" shape

Directions:

1. Melt butter, unsweetened chocolate and powdered sugar in a small pot on low heat, stirring until smooth. Stir in cocoa powder and vanilla. Let cool 5 to 10 minutes, until somewhat thickened.
2. Use back of small spoon to spread thin layer of chocolate mixture on bottom and up sides of twelve muffin liners. Place on baking sheet or platter and freeze until firm, about 20 minutes.
3. In a microwave safe bowl, heat peanut butter on high for 30 seconds or until fully melted but not hot. Stir in powdered sugar and vanilla extract.
4. Remove chocolate cups from freezer and add a layer of the peanut butter filling (you should use it all). Return to freezer for another 10 minutes.
5. Rewarm remaining chocolate gently over low heat and stir until smooth. Spread over peanut butter filling to the sides of each cup. Chill until set, 20 minutes.
6. Store in the refrigerator...or eat them all.

   

   Juliana is much more photogenic than these peanut butter cups.

Eating New York

I've been absent from the blog for a few reasons, but the most interesting one is that I was in NYC for four days on my BFF foodie trip!

The whole trip was lovely. It started a little cold, but by the time we left, it was 75 and sunny!

Side note: After prancing around Central Park in the sun, we returned to the second coming of Minnesota winter. Snow and rain and more snow. April, you are dead to me. 

We ate A LOT in New York. My body was begging for mercy by the end, but it was so fun!!!

Here's a rundown of the places we ate (in order of appearance) and then I'll tell you my favorite:

Snack Box
I'm not sure this is the best hot dog in New York, but it's still fun to eat a hot dog in the middle of Times Square. Plus, I got the pineapple relish, which was weird but good.

WD-50
We did the "From the Vault" tasting menu and it was amazing. Not as crazy as I would have thought from all the hype about Wylie Dufresne and his molecular gastronomy, but that was fine with me. My only complaint is that two of the seven courses has things that tasted like Fruit Rollups and I hate Fruit Rollups.

Bouchon Bakery
Pretty, pretty pastries. We were at the Rockefeller Center location and they had run out of all the hot breakfast items by 10 a.m. on a Sunday, but I probably would have just eaten the same Chocolate Almond Croissant even if I could have ordered eggs. (Also, I brought shortbread cookies home and they were delicious.)

Eataly
This was one of my favorites. I wish I could live near this place...no, I wish I could live right there in Eataly. You're surrounded by Italian ingredients and then you can sit down and order a meal made with all the good stuff you're looking at. It was busy even though we were there around 3 p.m. but we got a spot at the bar in Il Pesce (the fish place). I didn't realize how heavenly wine and salmon carpaccio on a Sunday afternoon could be. Thank you, Mario Batali (and the people who actually made my food).

Ca Va 
Our budget hotel happened to be across the street from this Todd English place, so we had to stop in. We had lamb short ribs and martinis at the bar, which were great.

Per Se
I was actually nervous for this, even though we were only going for dessert. I had such high expectations and they were all met. The food and service were both wonderful...and I'll give you the play by play below.

Norma's
This is my go-to breakfast spot in NYC. However, now that I know better than to order things like mountains of pancakes and chocolate-peanut butter waffles, it wasn't quite as great - this was partially due to unusually bad service on this visit. But I'll still be back when I've got the kids with me.

Dickson's Farmstand Meats in Chelsea Market
I had never been to Chelsea Market despite it being featured heavily on Food Network. It's such a nice little spot. It's made up of small shops and we chose Dickson's because my travel companion wanted a sloppy joe. I opted for the pastrami sandwich, which came with apricot chutney. Yum! It was the surprise hit of the trip. (We also ate a cupcake and mini donuts at the market, but the sandwich was the highlight.)

Doughnut Plant
We went to see the Chelsea Hotel and realized that Doughnut Plant's main location is there. Score! I know this is crazy, but I couldn't eat a donut. I had coffee, but my BFF represented with a rose donut. I just loved the space - donut tiles, donut pillows on the wall...love.

Prune
We wanted to eat here after reading "Blood, Bones and Butter" and I'm glad we did. The place is tiny and adorable. The waitresses wear pink, our drinks were both pink and they were playing Pink over the sound system (which was maybe a coincidence, but cute). I had a petite filet with potatoes that was lovely. And butter cake.

Sarabeth's
I feel like Anthony Bourdain mentioned this place once, but I could be making that up. Somehow I heard about it and I'm glad I did. It has a pretty, sunny location off Central Park and they serve porridge! (Which is delicious!)

See? That's a lot of food.

Ok, so my favorite was Per Se. Maybe because it was all about dessert. Maybe because I'd been anticipating eating there for years. Maybe because the dessert was amazing. Or maybe just all of that combined. I was giddy.

The Dessert Tasting is served in the Salon (not a bar, a bar would be too ordinary). Even though the service is legendary, I wasn't sure if there'd be any hoity-toityness when we arrived only wanting dessert, while most people pay $400 to sit in the dining room. There was not. The hostesses were sweet and welcoming.

The experience was lovely and perfect and delicious and fun and without any of the pretense that can come with a fancy dinner, so I'm actually not sure if I really want to eat in the Dining Room now...but I think I still do.

The Salon is elegant and dimly-lit, which is why I could not bear to turn on my flash and the following photos are dark. But enjoy.

Amuse bouche: Tiny ice cream sandwiches
that tasted like dreamsicles.

Another amuse: An homage to the famous Thomas Keller
salmon cornets,but this was sweet with pineapple. 

"Chamomile Soda"
Vanilla Tapioca Pudding and Sake Granita
(Delicious and I loved the Alice and
Wonderland-like presentation!)

Mango Sorbet
Carribean Papaya and Whipped Jasmine Tea

"PB&J"
Candied Virginia Peanuts, Red Verjus
"Pate de Fruits" and "Pain au Lait" Ice Cream
(This was one of my favorites. Look at that tiny sandwich!
And the ice cream was incredible!)

"Coffee and Doughnuts"
Cinnamon-Sugared Brioche Doughnuts
with Cappucino Semifreddo
(This was my favorite, favorite. It looks so simple,
but those donuts were perfect and the way the cappucino
was really ice cream? I mean, come on.)

Seville Orange-Vanilla "Creamsicle"
Manjari Chocolate "Cremeux" with Mint "Genoise"
(While I hesitate to make any disparaging remarks
about this experience, we didn't like this dessert.
It didn't taste like a creamsicle and the tartness
of the orange was overpowering.)

Housemade Chocolates
(Just when you think it's over, the waiter arrives
with a box of 30 different chocolates
in flavors such as "Dirty Martini White Chocolate."
Amazing! You can pick as many as you want,
although I'm not sure they'd love it if
you asked them to just leave the whole box.) 

And that, my friends, is how you eat New York. Or at least, a small portion of New York. Maybe I can do a family-friendly round this summer when we take the kids. Until then, I'll be focused on losing the 500 lbs. I just gained. 

(Recipes to return soon!)

Spreading Awareness

I'm making a rare midweek visit to the blog to acknowledge that today is World Autism Awareness Day - and in fact, this month is Autism Awareness Month - so I hope that all of you will take a moment to either learn more about Autism Spectrum Disorders or educate someone else.

1 in 88 American kids - and 1 in 54 boys - has an Autism Spectrum Disorder, including my Owen. My Owen is exceptional in many ways: He is brilliant, funny, creative, witty, and sweet. And he is challenged every day by the fact that his brain works differently than that of the average nine-year-old boy.

We don't yet understand what causes autism and we don't yet have a cure.

If you ask Owen, he'll tell you that he doesn't need a cure, he likes his brain just fine the way it is. But it's important to know that we are the lucky ones. Although Owen struggles, he can basically do everything a typical kid can do. Other kids on the spectrum are not so lucky and they deserve answers.

Autism Speaks has a lot great resources...there's also this amazing thing called Google, but beware of some of the crazy things the Internet might tell you about autism.

Here's the gist of what I know, 7 years post-diagnosis:

• Autism is a brain disorder, which is not the same as a mental disability.
• Vaccines and autism have never been proven to be related. (Please, vaccinate your kids.)
• No two kids with autism are the same.
• Autism might look like that kid rocking and banging his head against the wall and it could also look like that kid who talks incessantly about Pokemon and won't meet your eyes.
• Autism doesn't make a person stupid or smart. 
• Changes in diet can have a positive effect on kids with autism (just like they can have a positive effect on any kid).
• Although there is no cure, autism can be treated with various therapies, such as Applied Behavior Analysis.
• Some insurance companies deny treatment for autism. There are people dedicating their lives to changing that - you can help.
• Autism is complicated and it deserves a lot more research. You can help with that, too.
• People with autism need the compassion and support of their communities to navigate a world designed for neurotypical people - we can all help with that.

Happy World Autism Awareness Day!