12 Hours in Vegas

Once upon a time, a girl was unemployed. And almost as much as it bothered her not to know where her next paycheck would come from, it bothered her that she couldn't use all this "free" time to travel!

This girl vowed that when she finally found a new job, she would fit in a beach vacation before that job started. She just wanted to feel the sun on her face and enjoy the freedom of vacation one last time before jumping back into work.

Then one day, the job offer came and she rejoiced! We're going on vacation! I've got it all planned! The beach! The sun! Just a quick trip to renew my sense of joy and adventure, she said. But alas, the girls' children did not agree with this plan. School! They cried. We have school! And so the girl resigned herself to the fact that there would be no last-chance, don't-have-to-take-vacation-time vacation.

Until one day when really cheap flights to Las Vegas appeared...but wait, the return flight left at midnight...and it became clear what she (and her wonderfully supportive husband) must do...

12 Hours in Vegas

6 a.m. CST: Leave our house for the airport. It took hours to figure out what one wears when there will be no hotel and you must gracefully transition from morning flight to nice dinner.  I finally settled on black.

7:40 a.m. CST: Board flight. This is going to be the best day ever!

9:22 a.m. PT: Arrive! Air travel is magical!

9:55 a.m. PT: We are entering Planet Hollywood. Life is a dream. I am here to drink mimosas and play Britney slots. I get out my handy dandy players club bracelet (DIY) and get serious about having fun.



10:32 a.m. PT: Britney was a bust but I now have "3" stuck in my head. We have discovered a new Monopoly slot machine with a giant wheel a la Price is Right. There is also a crazy Big Bang Theory machine. Who makes these decisions? How do I get THAT job?

10:51 a.m. PT: We are on the Strip, determined to do the next thing on my list: Have the breakfast martini at Bound in The Cromwell. Sure, they probably didn't actually intend for it be had for breakfast, but this is my best day ever!

10:56 a.m. PT: Bound doesn't technically open for 4 minutes, but I am so enthusiastic about the breakfast martini that the bartender doesn't mention it.



11:00 a..m. PT: The drink has orange marmalade in it! It's amazing and I feel classier than anyone has ever felt drinking martinis before lunch. Also, The Cromwell is nice...I make a note to stay here sometime.

11:22 a.m. PT: OMG, they brought back the Family Feud slots and you can play Fast Money!!!!

11:39 a.m. PT: We are headed to the oasis known as Margaritaville. My plan is to sit on their rooftop patio and eat a Cheeseburger in Paradise with the sun on my face. When we arrive, we are informed that the patio is closed...because it's Tuesday...and 62 degrees. Oh, surely if Jimmy Buffet knew the distance I had traveled in order to eat a cheeseburger on his patio he would have opened it for me. But no.

11:56 a.m. PT: We walked the whole promenade they built leading up to the High Roller (which we went on during our last trip...4 months ago) searching for a place to sit in the sun and eat lunch. Apparently that's not so much a thing in Vegas. These damn desert dwellers take their sun for granted!

12:04 p.m. PT: I decide that if we can't eat outside, we might as well go somewhere reliably good, so we grab a seat at BLT Burger. The burger is good, but the Malibu Barbie boozy shake is GREAT. I momentarily feel like I'm on a beach vacation wrapped in a Vegas vacation.


12:52 p.m. PT: I once again declare this the best day ever. We do a lap around the Mirage casino and we're off to Caesar's. I take time to sit, then lay, on the side of the fountains at Caesar's. The sun is on my face. Life is amazing!

 

1:04 p.m. PT: I am horrified to find that my beloved Seahorse Lounge is closed for no good reason. Their website says they should be open. I angrily Instagram the hotel even though I know I should have tweeted them. I try the Gremlins slots. Seriously, who decides what gets a slot machine?

1:33 p.m. PT: Disappointed in Caesar's (as usual), we're off to the Bellagio. My M Life card won't work...I'll deal with that in a minute, but first I must play Wonka. I get a crazy bonus that let's me play like 4 mini-games in a row. I am triumphant.

1:46 p.m. PT: We make our way to the M Life desk. I give her my old blue card and am handed a shiny new white card. She informs me that I've been upgraded to Pearl level! Although I have no idea how this has happened, I suspect that the universe is telling me that every decision that got me here was correct. Thank you, universe...and M Life. 

2:21 p.m. PT: Starbucks break. There's a woman trying to use a coupon. That seems funny to me.

2:40 p.m. PT: We discover that the casino at the Cosmopolitan has nearly every game we want to play. Fun! I make a note to stay here sometime...But we have to come back here for our dinner reservation, so we must keep moving.

4:47 p.m. PT: We hit New York-New York already. It was uneventful, so we've found our way to MGM. We've decided to play video roulette and I order a cosmo. What could possibly go wrong?


5:04 p.m. PT: Ok, we're running out of money (as in, our allotted budget, not our savings account) so we decide to make our way back up toward Cosmopolitan because I have a thing for The Chandelier Bar.

6:11 p.m. PT: I am in the chandelier. It takes forever to get our drinks, but mine has cream cheese espuma on it...it's alright. I feel underdressed for The Chandelier, but it's barely even dinnertime, so whatever.

6:50 p.m. PT: We arrive at China Poblano early for our 7 p.m. dinner reservation. It's not a problem, it's Tuesday. They seat us. This was a good choice - it's chic-casual. I can wear jeans, but I could also wear a dress and it would be ok. We order margaritas with "salt air" and a bunch of yummy things off the asian/mexican menu. I like it.

8:04 p.m. PT: Exhaustion is setting in, but so is the desperation that comes with knowing that I have mere hours left in Vegas. We've agreed we must be in a cab back to the airport by 9 p.m. because my husband is somewhat crazy about being early to the airport.

8:23 p.m. PT: I'm playing whatever catches my eye. There's a machine where you play 12 different slot machines at once. I want to try it all out before I have to go. I am not winning money.

8:53 p.m. PT: We are getting in a cab - probably should have waited until 9:22 p.m. to make it a perfect 12 hours, but my mind is not thinking that hard. I am saying goodbye to this city as if I will never see it again, though I already know I will be back before the end of the year.


9:45 p.m. PT: We are at our gate. It's almost midnight at home. I am so tired and nothing is open and there is no where to lay down. My husband tells me to lay on the floor. I decline and whine some more. Everything has been fabulous until this point. I vow to figure out how to join one of those swanky airline lounges next year.

10:45 p.m. PT: We are finally boarding. Hallelujah, the flight is less than half full, which means there's room to lay down! I am asleep before the captain can tell us our cruising altitude.

5:12 a.m. CST: We have disembarked and are almost to our car, which we parked less than 24 hours ago. I am ruined for the day, but if the price was right, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Onward and Upward

Hooray for new years and new beginnings. I love Christmas, but it's always sort of a relief when it's over...even though we in Minnesota descend into the deep, gray freeze of January.

I was going to use a photo of a champagne toast like "Here's to the the new year!" but then I found this one from my birthday, when my team at work surprised me with DQ cupcakes and presented them in the shape of a K and I thought that was such a sweet memory that it made sense to include it in this post.

We celebrated this new year in the desert. It snowed. In the Mojave Desert.

Yes, I'm sure that's happened before, I just don't know what the chances were that it would happen to us. I'm not taking it as a sign of anything other than maybe that there are a lot of strange experiences to be had and you can't plan for all of them.

This event prompted me start thinking about what I've been jokingly referring to as my "Secret 40 by 40 list" - like the secret menu at Starbucks. Basically a list of cool shit that I ended up doing that wasn't on my 40 by 40 list, but I wish they had been.

It's not a super long list, but so far I've got:

1. Experience snow in the desert
2. Sing onstage with Tanya Donelly
3. Audition for Wheel of Fortune
4. Rescue a dog
5. Trade my minivan in for an electric car
6. Meet Matt Lauer and appear on the Today Show (in the crowd)
7. Win a progressive on a slot machine 

That's all been within the last 14 months (if I take the dog off, it's 12), so I'm sure I'm leaving out lots of other interesting experiences, but it's still fun to write it all down. 

Someday I will be old and unable to remember anything, so it's important not only to get out and experience everything, but to document the hell out of it. Life can be really hard, so you have to take the fun/amazing/once-in-a-lifetime moments when they come. 

Here's to a new year full of new experiences!

Happy Place

I could write an entire blog about Las Vegas. Like, my every single thought and obsession about that place. The joy I feel when hearing the slot machines, the thrill I get when I see the Strip all lit up at night...my time traveling fantasies of being there during the Rat Pack era.

I'm not sure who would actually want to read that blog, but I think I'd enjoy writing it.

Anyway, I am returning to my happy place tomorrow! I even bought a new dress last minute, which I always say I'm not going to do, but here's where we're having dinner:

Now tell me you wouldn't need a new dress to eat there...that's what I thought.

I promise to return full of inspiration and ideas for the new year ahead.

They Say the Heart of Rock 'n' Roll is Still Beating...

In the last 2 weeks, I have seen two shows in casinos: Britney Spears at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas and Huey Lewis & The News at Mystic Lake Casino (with my mom, for the record).

Britney was a sight to behold - and I am glad I had the opportunity to behold it - but I'd really like Mr. Lewis to have a chat with that girl about what it means to put on a show.

You couldn't blame Huey if he wanted to be cynical. He probably didn't start out hoping to be known for "that one song from Back to the Future." I'm sure he knows that he hit his celebrity peak during the late 80's. And he knows that even if he wrote the greatest song ever tomorrow, everyone really just wants to hear that aforementioned song from Back to the Future (or maybe "Hip to Be Square"). But he's not cynical! (Or if he is, he hides it well.)

He's been performing as Huey Lewis & The News for 36 years! And last night, the man seemed genuinely happy to be there. Happy that we were there. Happy that this is what he has the pleasure to call a job. He was a consummate professional. He's a born entertainer and we were all entertained...wow, were those 50-something women swarming the stage entertained.

Britney on the other hand seemed forced...literally just going through the motions. She lip synced the whole show...okay, fine. It's forgivable if you need to focus on dancing, but she didn't. I could practically see her counting her steps! Nothing spontaneous. Nothing unscripted. Nothing authentic. She had the appearance of a person showing up for work, not a person who is lucky enough to sell out shows night after night. She should be living her dream, but instead she appears trapped by it. Resentful, even.

Maybe someday Huey and Britney will cross paths. In my mind, Huey will take her chin in his hand, gaze at her through his blue-tinted glasses, and tell her to stop wallowing and start being grateful...or he'll have Pat Benatar kick her ass.

Absentee

I missed a month. An entire 31-day month passed without me blogging. I'd like to tell you that I have been up to so many exciting things that I simply could not find the time, but it's more like I've been sucked into a never-ending loop of work, cook, sleep, repeat and whatever brain cells have not been sacrificed to that black hole have been stolen by Candy Crush. (Seriously, I wish I was playing it right now.)

Pretty, pretty ice cream

I did leave the black hole briefly to go to Vegas, which was fun and exciting and delicious. I definitely should have written a whole post about that trip, but now it was nearly a month ago, so I'll just give you the barebones highlights:

• Best Dessert of the Trip goes to RM Seafood, where we got 16 (!) flavors of ice cream and had to guess all the flavors. (Peanut butter was very yummy, garlic was not.)
• Best Way to Spend a Monday morning goes to sipping pina coladas by the pool. (Although New York-New York is not really the place to stay if you really love to hang out at the pool.)
• Best Attraction of the Trip goes to the Neon Boneyard, which is pretty much what it sounds like. Lots of pieces of Vegas history all in one place, plus now I have another reason to go back because they're going to start doing nighttime tours with the signs all lit up! 

Culminating with that trip, I've almost entirely fallen off the healthy eating wagon. I mean, I still love my gluten-free crackers, but I've been slacking on the rest of it. Which is to say that I do not have any Smart and Good recipes, nor will I within the next week, as we've just kicked off BIRTHDAY WEEK over here, which is really more like birthday month because my birthday is the day before the boys' birthday, which is exactly two weeks before my husband's birthday. Geminis are we.

So, I really will have a lot going on over the next few days and weeks, but I will make sure that I also come back to the blog, because I really need to revisit my 40 by 40 list and formally acknowledge all the things I did not do...more to come.

The Agony and the Irony, They're Killing Me

I'm bored with my blog, I said to my husband yesterday. Not bored with the blog itself. Bored with what I'm writing on it. (Translation: Bored with myself.)

His response was that all I've been focused on is this cleanse, which I interpreted as a very polite way of saying, Your life has been boring lately.

This reminded me: If you're bored, then you're boring.

This line likely originated with some wise grandmother or philosopher, but it's also a line from one of my most favorite-but-oft-forgotten songs, "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger. It is not a coincidence that this song was big during one of my most beloved periods in my life, when I was working at the college newspaper writing record reviews and interviewing bands every week.


So I just put this song on and made my Banana Carrot Muffins and it made me so happy and I suddenly felt less bored and boring. Music is magic!

And with that, let me tell you three exciting things I'm working on at the moment but have neglected to mention because I've been consumed by this cleanse:

1. Celebrity chef restaurant trip to NYC with my BFF in April. We scored insanely cheap airfare through a deal American Airlines was running last month. The itinerary is in the works. There's definitely a tension between choosing the younger TV chefs vs. the foundational culinary legends. Really it's just that we only have 3 days and you can't eat everything in 3 days. Also, I'm searching for a hotel deal that will allow us to allocate more budget toward to eating.

2. Trip to Vegas with our BFF couple (omg, every couple needs a BFF couple!) in May. I get to Vegas every year, but we take this trip with our friends every few years, or as often as we can both make it work. I pretty much love Vegas no matter what, but being there with friends who seem to like nearly all the same things as you is pretty awesome. In this case, we got a killer deal on a hotel, so now I'm watching for a deal on airfare...kind of an important component of the trip.

3. Family trip to NYC in August! Yes, two trips to NYC in just a few months, all thanks to that insanely cheap AA deal. My family of 4 is flying roundtrip to NYC for less than $600!!! It's like it's 1998 again. Crazy town. We'll be on the East Coast for a week, so we're thinking we'll take the train to Boston for a few days and partake in some historic things. Again, I'm scouting for hotel deals, although I'm a lot more picky when I'm traveling with the boys so I'll probably end up spending more.

Ok, so when I think about all that I'm no longer bored. Plus, there are the 7 things I'm supposed to be crossing off my 40 by 40 list. Too bad "Give up everything you like to eat for 15 days" wasn't on the list. I guess I've got some doing to do.