Goodbye, #8!

I have accomplished #8 on the 40 by 40 list! We returned a couple weeks ago from our trip to Ireland, where we drove much of the coast. My synopsis: Ireland is amazing and you should go every chance you get!

This was actually my third trip to Ireland, but I'd never gone much farther than Dublin. What a beautiful country and such wonderful people. We even found the place where we want to retire! (Watch for it on my 70 by 70 list.)

Every day of this trip was incredible, but here are just a few highlights:

We flew into Dublin and drove north, where we stayed in an adorable little town called Portrush, but the reason we were there was to see the Giant's Causeway, which is a series of basalt columns created by lava during an ancient volcanic eruption. The photo doesn't do it justice, but it actually brought tears to my eyes, it was so magnificent. I know it sounds cheesy, but sights like this are literally the reason that art exists. It explains why Ireland is so rich with folklore...how would you explain this is if you just happened upon it 1000 years ago?

Giant's Causeway with boys

After that amazingness, we headed southwest, stopping at the gravesite of W.B. Yeats (where my boys will proudly tell you they had some good ice cream) and ending up in Galway. After a night in Galway City, we headed farther west to spend our 13th wedding anniversary in a CASTLE near Connemara National Park. Yeah, we're fancy.

View from the castle grounds

From there we headed to the Cliffs of Moher, which have to be seen to be believed. I don't know if there's a more fitting use of "breathtaking." Plus, because it's not America, they let you walk straight out to the edge of the cliffs, with nothing more than a sign telling you that the ground could give way. I really did have to question why I would walk my kids to the edge of a cliff so nonchalantly and my only explanation is that you just had to try to take in as much of it as you could.

Cliffs of Moher

From there we went farther south to the Dingle Peninsula. I had no idea I was about to fall in love, but wow, that place is gorgeous. Picturesque. Perfect? It's like the perfect combo of being amazingly beautiful while also feeling like you could actually live there. I'm not kidding, I want to live there someday.

Slea Head Drive, Dingle

After some additional meandering through the south part of Ireland - including rush hour in Cork City (boo) - we then made it back East to Kildare, where we stayed one night before heading back toward Dublin for the remainder of our trip. We couldn't skip the Wicklow Way, tho. You'd think we would have been tired of rolling green hills by then, but no...I don't think I could ever get sick of this.

Wicklow Way

There are hundreds of other highlights I'm not mentioning here, but let's just say that it truly was a dream trip. I've been referring to it as the Ireland Sampler Platter because we only spent one night in each place except Dublin. It was exhausting and thrilling and amazing. I'm so thankful that we were able to make it happen. The 40 by 40 list really was the catalyst...sure, I dreamed of doing it, but having it on that list really motivated me to do it now. Thank you again, 40 by 40 list. 

Sláinte! 

Father's Day

Father's Day. It's a strange reminder that I don't have a dad anymore. However, the holiday is not as sad or full if sentiment for me as his birthday. It wasn't like we had a Father's Day tradition...the compulsory card and maybe a meal together, depending on the year. 

I think it might have been Father's Day when I realized my dad was drinking again...I don't remember the occasion for sure, but I know it was at Red Lobster and that he ordered a beer and that I immediately knew I was going to have to tell my mom, even though at that point they had been divorced for at least 20 years.

Anyway, now Father's Day is all about celebrating my husband, a dad deserving of celebration.

I'm sure there are men out there who really love celebrating themselves, but my husband is not one of them. I usually just plan brunch and hope he likes it, knowing he will likely choose to work at night because it's his day and I can't give him shit about it.

I simultaneously love and hate the cliche Father's Day gifts. He's received a few coffee mugs and yes, even a tie with photos of the boys on it once. There's just something really funny about giving my husband, a non-traditional guy in most senses, the most traditional gift. Actually, funnier than giving him those gifts is the fact that the kids seem drawn to them, like media-trained little sheep. This year he got a screwdriver, but to be fair it was a cool one from Brookstone. (And seriously, does Brookstone exist because of Father's Day?)

This is where I was going to tell you how disappointed I am that my wayward stepson could not even be bothered to return the multiple text messages I sent inviting him to his father's brunch today...but you see, I promised myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't splash his life across these pages, so I won't go into it. Other than to say that I will raise my boys to know that their parents deserve at least a phone call on all relevant holidays and birthdays. At least being code for you better be in a different state if I'm not going to actually see you. 

Now go hug your dad or the favorite dad in your life. 

37

It's my birthday. Time to review my 40 by 40 list and see if I'm making adequate progress...am I making the most of my days? Lord knows that I'll never be as young as I am right now, so I should really get a move on.

Well, before I get to the 40 by 40 list, I have to tell you about my trip this past weekend to Seattle, where I did something that I wish I could go back and put on my 40 by 40 list, but did not have the forethought: Sing with one of my rock idols.

The Seattle trip was a spontaneous decision spurred by the fact that Throwing Muses was doing a short reunion tour and Tanya Donelly (whom I admire and adore) was opening...and it happened to be the weekend before my birthday. The show was at The Triple Door, which is a really cool dinner theater sort of club in Seattle.

We had dinner in the bar that's out front. Tanya Donelly was actually sitting, having dinner, in a booth not 50 feet from us. My husband offered to stop her to say hi and ask for a photo, but I declined because I didn't want to bother her...even though the sight of her made me giddy.

Our seats were amazing. Right in front. Tanya came out and before long, she sang a Belly song. This made me tear up in that "Omg, I didn't know if I'd ever hear this live again" sort of way. I realized I have some emotional attachment to Tanya and Belly because I listened to them all through high school. I basically discovered them at the start of sophomore year and it was love at first listen. I just connected with her.

So I'm already SO happy to be there and then Tanya stops and announces that it's time to bring someone - or anyone - up to caterwaul on "Not Too Soon", which happens to be my favorite Throwing Muses song. Without thinking, I just got up and went to the stage. I don't usually do things like that, but having just missed the opportunity to meet her in the bar, loving her and loving the song, I guess I was emboldened.

There were 8 of us. We made a semi-circle behind her. I was directly behind her left shoulder. The entire time, I stared at the back of her head. I studied the claw clips in her hair - two black ones forming almost-pigtails and two tiny silver ones holding up the hair below. I could not believe that Tanya Donelly was 6 inches from me, singing one of my favorite songs. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to cry. I was numb. All at once. It was amazing.

Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all. Afterward, my husband kept saying how I sang in front of a crowd, but I didn't see the crowd. All I knew is that I was singing backup...to one of my favorite musicians...on one of my favorite songs. Did I mention that it was amazing? I don't know when the last time is that my happiness has been so pure. I'm tempted to cross something off my 40 by 40 list and add this one in just so I can cross it off as complete...but I won't.

Ok, so back to the 40 by 40 list. I can't announce that I've crossed anything off lately, but I can commit to a few of them in the year ahead:

• #8: Tour the coasts of Ireland - this is BOOKED! We are leaving Dublin at the end of July and will drive the coast for nearly 2 weeks!
• #9: Do Pastry Boot Camp at the CIA - the next session is in February and I'm like 75% sure that I'm going to enroll. It's more expensive that I'd like, but I think it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• #17: Get another tattoo - I finally figured out the tattoo I want to get, so now I just need to have it drawn and figure out when to do it. Sometime in the next year seems doable.

There are several others things I could take on in the next year, but those are the 3 that are currently in my plans. But since I've got more than half the list yet and only 3 years, I should probably step it up. 

More to come. Let me just say that I am grateful for my 37-year-old body (even as it gets rounder) and I am grateful that I can get up everyday and hold my kids and walk around and that I have the luxury to dream of more. Life is good. Happy birthday to me. 

They Say the Heart of Rock 'n' Roll is Still Beating...

In the last 2 weeks, I have seen two shows in casinos: Britney Spears at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas and Huey Lewis & The News at Mystic Lake Casino (with my mom, for the record).

Britney was a sight to behold - and I am glad I had the opportunity to behold it - but I'd really like Mr. Lewis to have a chat with that girl about what it means to put on a show.

You couldn't blame Huey if he wanted to be cynical. He probably didn't start out hoping to be known for "that one song from Back to the Future." I'm sure he knows that he hit his celebrity peak during the late 80's. And he knows that even if he wrote the greatest song ever tomorrow, everyone really just wants to hear that aforementioned song from Back to the Future (or maybe "Hip to Be Square"). But he's not cynical! (Or if he is, he hides it well.)

He's been performing as Huey Lewis & The News for 36 years! And last night, the man seemed genuinely happy to be there. Happy that we were there. Happy that this is what he has the pleasure to call a job. He was a consummate professional. He's a born entertainer and we were all entertained...wow, were those 50-something women swarming the stage entertained.

Britney on the other hand seemed forced...literally just going through the motions. She lip synced the whole show...okay, fine. It's forgivable if you need to focus on dancing, but she didn't. I could practically see her counting her steps! Nothing spontaneous. Nothing unscripted. Nothing authentic. She had the appearance of a person showing up for work, not a person who is lucky enough to sell out shows night after night. She should be living her dream, but instead she appears trapped by it. Resentful, even.

Maybe someday Huey and Britney will cross paths. In my mind, Huey will take her chin in his hand, gaze at her through his blue-tinted glasses, and tell her to stop wallowing and start being grateful...or he'll have Pat Benatar kick her ass.

Girls Who Wear Dresses

I always wanted to be a girl who wears dresses like they're jeans. Not just to appear effortless, but to actually feel like throwing on a dress with cute boots is actually as casual as slipping on jeans and a T-shirt. I suspect that girls who can do this have unlocked a secret to the universe...a tiny secret, maybe, but a secret nonetheless.

Read this

I'm only stopping by to post a link to this Her Bad Mother blog post because it just makes me feel better to know how hard other people think writing is too...

Back soon.

Find One

I'm always thinking of the backstory of things. It's like a compulsion. Maybe it's because I was a journalist, or maybe that's why I liked journalism so much...

Today I was off work with the kids while they're on spring break and we went to the art museum to see the Matisse exhibit and his work is great, but I just kept thinking about the fact that he was compelled to be a painter. He said once he tried it he couldn't think about anything else.

I'm slightly obsessed at the moment with questioning my life choices. There was a shake up at work and I don't know my new boss and it's all just...unsettling. I can make anything work, but every so often I wonder why I'm killing myself to do things I don't love. Are the money and stress worth it? Viewed purely from a financial security angle, yes, they are worth it. Viewed purely from a life is short angle, no, it's all bullshit and I should run and be free.

A friend of mine is determined to focus only on the things she can control. No need to stress over anything else. It's totally logical and nearly impossible.

Which brings me to my soundtrack at the moment. I've never bought one of his albums, but I'm anxiously awaiting the release of this song on iTunes.

There are hundreds of ways to get through the day. Now you just find one.